The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
Did someone say snack?
I thought it went really well, until I swallowed the whistle.
Skinner: Moving on, our class trip to Italy is now spaghetti night at Papa John's. And your $1,500 deposits will not be refunded.
Homer: (excitedly) Ooh! Papa John's.
Lisa: You can't give me a yellow card! You're my father!
Homer: When I put on these shorts, I'm not your father anymore. And judging by how tight they are, I'm never gonna be anyone else's either.
What have you done with the real Moe?
</i> Homer
(They all laugh, and we see in the real Moe bound and gagged in the back room)
Homer: Lisa, honey, I bought you something. A DVD!
Lisa: Not interested!
Homer: It's a documentary! By the BBC! In cooperation with Canal+!
Lisa: Ah! Gimme gimme gimme!!
Ned Flanders: Homer, you've met my parents.
Homer: Not naked I haven't.
Could someone bring me another barf cone?
</i> Homer
(to Lisa) Hey, Lisa! Self-conscious about your shins? My day girls were worried about their boobs
Bart: Jumpin' Johnnycakes! Those dames are cheesed!
Homer: Son, I'll never understand women if I live to be 40.
Bart: Big if!
Homer: You said it! Enjoy me while I last. (Both laugh)
Bart: Want to go slam a few beers?
Homer: Want to watch me?
Bart: You know it! (Both leave for Moe's.)
Homer: I don't need a soccer lecture from a hillbilly!
Cletus: That's hill-william to you, sir!
(slowly) How do you want your comeuppance? 8x10, or wallet size!?
