Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

"Spot the hidden objects." Boy, you're pretty pushy for a book I just met.

Honey, this sounds like a noble experiment, but like Prohibition, it will end in a hail of bullets.

Bart: Dad, what are you watching?
Homer: I think it's a Terrence Malick movie.

GPS: Switching to male voice, so you will obey.
Homer: Finally, a supervisor!

Like all childless couples they troll the beaches waiting for the egg-layers to wander off from their young.

Worry-wart Marge. You don't look a Trojan horse in the mouth.

What women really want is a guy who's confident enough to go completely downhill after marriage and know she'll still love him.

When I found out shrimp cocktails had no alcohol, I really lost interest.

Homer: Listen, I gotta know. You're not just being nice to me because, in a pinch, you could make candles from my fat.
Lloyd: Well, that is a big part of it.
Homer: It's okay. I know what I am.

Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt.

If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today.

Homer: Marge, this is it. TEOTWAWKI.
Marge: The end of the world as we know it?!?

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 1517 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
x Close Ad