The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Well, I'm not one for taking new jobs on a whim. But as we say in the snow plow business, I'm your astronaut.

Homer: Boy, why are your friends so dirty?
Bart: Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?
Homer: Touche.

Hehehe, the brain is so stupid.

Homer: Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep angry at each other.
Marge: I'm not going to sleep.
Homer: Well you didn't have two beers with your lunch.

Marge, I thought this was an innocuous lunch, but it's become terribly ocuous.

Hibbert:You may never see a film in 3D again. Hehehe.
Homer: But the storytelling is finally catching up to the technology.

Ned: I want you to punch me in the eye. If you do, then we're even according to Exodus, Leviticus, and Matthew.
Homer: You went and hired a law firm, eh. That's pretty aggressive.

Ned: Homer, I can't believe you're partaking with my parents.
Homer: Yeah, it's medicinal; we had a pain in our neck!

Oh, my gay dad is gay for gays.

Writing is for bathroom walls and acting is for getting out of DUIs.

"Spot the hidden objects." Boy, you're pretty pushy for a book I just met.

Honey, this sounds like a noble experiment, but like Prohibition, it will end in a hail of bullets.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 1527 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!