The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
(Homer throws a picture into the garbage)
Marge: Homer, that's our wedding photo!
Homer: Marge, quit living in the past.
Lisa: What's so special about this game anyway? It's just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world's largest pizza, so we burnt down their city hall.
Homer: Heh, heh, heh. Yeah, they swore they'd get us back by spiking our water supply. But they didn't have the guts.
Marge: (drinks the tap water) Ooooh. The walls are melting again.
Homer: Why am I such a loser? Why?
Bart: Well, your father was a loser, and his father, and his father ... it's genetic, man. D'oh!
Homer: (chuckling) I did it! Second in line, and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.
Man: With the money you would have made working, you could have bought tickets from a scalper.
Homer: In theory, yes. Jerk.
(on the phone) Hello, is this President Clinton? Good. I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang, it would be you.
Wow, former president James Taylor.
Marge: You know Homer, when I found out about this I went through a wide range of emotions: first I was nervous, then anxious, then wary, then apprehensive, then kinda sleepy, then worried, and then concerned. But now I realize that being a spaceman is something you have to do.
Homer: Who's doing what now?
Well, here I am, right on time. I don't see Barney "Let's crash the rocket into the White House and kill the President" Gumble...
Homer: Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!
(Homer turns on the TV)
Man on TV: (pointing and laughing uncontrollably) Ha, ha, you stupid--
The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute... Statue of Liberty... that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!
Bart: Wow. My dad an astronaut. I feel so full of ... what's the opposite of shame?
Marge: Pride?
Bart: No, not that far from shame.
Homer: Less shame?
Bart: Yeah.
Buzz Aldrin: So Barney, we hear you're kickin' ass.
Homer: I, uh, don't think this contest is over yet Buzz. If that is your real name. I believe there is still a little something called the swimsuit competition.
Buzz Aldrin: There's no swimsuit competition, Homer.
Homer: You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing?
