The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
Homer: Why am I such a loser? Why?
Bart: Well, your father was a loser, and his father, and his father ... it's genetic, man. D'oh!
Homer: (chuckling) I did it! Second in line, and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.
Man: With the money you would have made working, you could have bought tickets from a scalper.
Homer: In theory, yes. Jerk.
Ned: Oh, I guess it's time for me to duck again.
Homer: No! I want everyone to know that-- (yelling out window) --this is Ned Flanders, my friend!
Lenny: What'd he say?
Carl: I dunno. Something about being gay.
(recieves a football) Wow! Thanks. Now I have four children You will be called "stitch face."
I'd like to propose a toast to the coming together of the Simpsons and the Flanders. If this were a more perfect world, we'd all be known as the Flimpsons.
Ned: Homer, I'd love to chitty-chat, but tonight's the night I do my charity work.
Homer: Oh yeah. The judge made me do that once too. Stupid lack of public urinals.
They don't call me "Springfield Fats" just because I'm morbidly obese!
Homer: If anyone can pull it off, it's Stan "The Boy" Taylor.
Crowd: Stan, Stan, he's our boy, If he can't do it, no one will.
Homer: Well, I guess I should pay my share.
Ned: Relax, Homer. I keep telling you, you're my guest.
Homer: Ooh, you brought me a nacho hat! Thanks, Ned (singing) Nacho, nacho man, I want to be a nacho man
Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever . . . Football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning.
TV Voiceover: Warning, tickets should not be taken internally.
Homer: See, because of me, now they have a warning.
Marty: Oh, we have a winner! What's your name, sir?
Ned: Ned Flanders!
Homer: Oh, not Flanders, anybody but Flanders
Ned: Well, golly, if that doesn't put the "shaz" in "shazam." Oh, listen: what's the cash value of those tickets so I can report it on my income tax?
(Homer throws a picture into the garbage)
Marge: Homer, that's our wedding photo!
Homer: Marge, quit living in the past.
