There is a gay Jack Donaghy. His name is Devon Banks.

I am extremely secure in my athleticism, my masculinity, and my rectal integrity.

Dot Com: You were a switch hitter?
Jack: Switch hitter, pitcher, catcher. Whatever the boys needed.

For the first time in six months we beat all the Music Choice channels except of course, Latin Beats.

Who thinks that gesturing with one's thumbs is for poor people, and is going to be the next CEO of Kabletown? This guy!

I can see someone got to first base, which is what I consider sex with a stranger.

Lemon you just had a structural, analytic insight. Professor Widmer would've given you a good job spanking.

Yes my daughter is Canadien-American, but I'm going to treat her just like a human baby.

Bellboy: What is so bad about being Canadian?
Jack: Your milk comes in bags...bags.
Avery: Your pavilion at Epcot doesn't have a ride!

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