Let's set aside how idiotic that plan was, and imagine a world where it actually worked!

Liz: Your insistence that the Jack character have an awesome catch phrase...
Jack: An idea that's off the charts, Kimosabe.

You in orange? You'll look like a creamsicle with an old tooth stuck in it.

Unfortunately, unless Harry's Law really took off this week and no one told me, you two are the biggest stars at the network.

Jack: Whatever are you doing here, Kaylie Hooper?
Kaylie: Enjoying my total lack of adult supervision. I just had fruit roll ups for dinner...at a strip club.

Kaylie: My mom is in Indonesia visiting her charity where poor children make shoes.
Jack: Isn't that just a sweatshop?

Wow, that is some high level paranoid thinking...like Hitler, or Willy Wonka.

That sofa is made from Seabiscuit.

Come on Donaghy. You've skied Mount St. Helen's, made eye contact with Michelle Bachman, been trapped under a boulder for 128 hours, you're not scared of anything.

She's right. You are a penis.

Jack: What insolvent country do you come from?
Receptionist: New Jersey. I'm just a weirdo.

He's a white male with hair, Lemon. The sky's the limit.

30 Rock Quotes

Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.
Liz: I need to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into more money. Can you teach me how to do that?
Jack: With my eyes closed.

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.

Liz