Wow, that is some high level paranoid Hitler, or Willy Wonka.

That sofa is made from Seabiscuit.

Come on Donaghy. You've skied Mount St. Helen's, made eye contact with Michelle Bachman, been trapped under a boulder for 128 hours, you're not scared of anything.

She's right. You are a penis.

Jack: What insolvent country do you come from?
Receptionist: New Jersey. I'm just a weirdo.

He's a white male with hair, Lemon. The sky's the limit.

I used to be a winner. Men wanted to be me. Women wanted to sleep with me. Bisexuals wanted to watch.

It's the ultimate game...Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It's a Jack-off.

Are you being coached? Is it Pat Reilly? Tell him the fun-meister says hi. He'll know what that means.

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