Jake Harper Quotes
Season 9, Episode 9: "A Fishbowl Full Of Glass Eyes"
Walden: Your son makes one heck of a wingman.
Jake: You make it easy boss.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 8: "Frodo's Headshots"
Alan: It wasn't a nut house, it was a stress clinic.
Jake: What's the difference?
Alan: About $2500 / week.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 7: "Thank You For The Intercourse"
Jake: Uncle Charlie never treated me like a stupid kid.
Alan: That's nice.
Jake: He treated me more like a stupid person.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Jake: Man they got my good bong.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 6: "Those Fancy Japanese Toilets"
Jake: We have to get rid of Walden. He's got to go.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jake: I bet you shower every day.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 6: "The Squat and Hover"
Jake: Dad, please tell me I'm not done growing.
Alan: Knock yourself out.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 3: "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food"
Alan: Remember, at grandma's we have to pee while sitting down so you don't get splatter anywhere.
Jake: I'll manage and that's how you pee anyway.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 8, Episode 16: "That Darn Priest"
Alan: I was singing.
Jake: You weren't singing.
Alan: Who are you, Simon Cowell?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 8, Episode 12: "Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead"
Eldridge: It was nice of him to bring beer.
Jake: He's a crazy bastard, but he's got good manners.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 257
