Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Manny got into a fight at The Sound of Music, got kicked out, I've never been so proud.

What ever happened to letting kids be themselves?

Gloria (whispers): It's the curse.
Jay: Not that I ever want to discourage you from whispering, but that's not a thing.

They keep their tools in a pillowcase but they have an occasions closet.

If he doesn't go to Columbia, Columbia comes to me.

I'm down there for a funeral. It's such a sad event and I end up finding something that I thought was lost forever. This beautiful moment that meant so much to both of us, set against the backdrop of fighting commies. There's your movie.

I was shipping off to Vietnam, you had the ass of a young Ann Margaret.

Manny: What kind of man writes poetry on the computer?
Jay: You could've ended that sentence after poetry.

Gloria: He's a lying, scheming little sneak. That's my son.
Jay: Our son.

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