Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCJay Pritchett Quotes
Jay: Where were you when I was growing up? I'd of had your dice and cigarettes before you got to homeroom.
Manny: Where'd you go to school? "Guys and Dolls?"
I get that Thanksgiving is an big day for families that don't see each other, but we're together nonstop.
Do you think we could just go downstairs and throw money at this and it would go away? I'm asking you, do you think that would work?
Jay: So you don't think I look like Ben Franklin?
Gloria: Oh yes! That's who it is! The man from the hundred dollar bill. My favorite!
People say clothes make the man but that makes no sense. What makes the man is a nice head of hair. Dammit it's like a phantom limb.
You do this every time. You go as a princess, I have to go as some freak. You're a beauty, I'm the beast. You're Beyonce, I'm...that guy.
Earl: I banged your ex wife!
Jay: If you banged Dede, I DO owe you an apology!
That's right, my boy's datin' her. He's datin' her real good.
Gloria: Manny's first girlfriend is a senior with a Mustang.
Jay: I'd have put my money on a sophomore with a mustache.
Said it since day one. The only thing coordinated about this kid is his outfits.
Stress is all a part of football. If you're not throwing up in your mouth, you're not doing it right.
That's the fourth Hawaiian shirt he's lost. I'm telling you this is a Dateline story waiting to happen!
