Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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They keep their tools in a pillowcase but they have an occasions closet.

If he doesn't go to Columbia, Columbia comes to me.

I'm down there for a funeral. It's such a sad event and I end up finding something that I thought was lost forever. This beautiful moment that meant so much to both of us, set against the backdrop of fighting commies. There's your movie.

I was shipping off to Vietnam, you had the ass of a young Ann Margaret.

Manny: What kind of man writes poetry on the computer?
Jay: You could've ended that sentence after poetry.

Gloria: He's a lying, scheming little sneak. That's my son.
Jay: Our son.

What did I say about these flowered blankets for him? He's starting to take after Hugh Hefner over there.

Gloria: You had a 3 hour nap on Sunday.
Jay: I was tired.
Gloria: From what, your 2 hour nap on Saturday?

Jay: This behavior of yours is not gonna fly when you lose your looks.
Gloria: Awww, you'll be long gone by then.

There's no such thing as a professional Broadway enthusiast.

Jay: You and Manny have the closest relationship I've ever seen. Hell he may never form a healthy attachment with another woman after you.
Gloria: You're just saying that.

You know what was a rare book at my school library, one that didn't have genitals drawn all over it.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 196 in total
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