Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Jay: Just keep hitting all those buttons until something good happens, that's my plan anyway.
Gloria: Woof.

Son of a bitch you're an embarrassment! You're kicking up more sand than a sea turtle laying eggs.

First rule of golf, shhh.

Claire: You have an in law who no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can't win over.
Jay: What about it?
Claire: Oh that doesn't sound familiar?
Jay:You're not saying.
Claire: Mmhmm, yeah I am.
Jay: Son of a bitch, I'm Phil!

Nobody doesn't like me. I'm Jay. I'm salt of the earth.

What's one more son in a dress?

Fulgencio Umberto, the initials are F U Pritchitt which is exactly the way it feels right now

That's the whole point of a surprise party, you take somebody you really love and you play em like a fool.

Papa would buy ten diamond rings to get that mockingbird to shut up.

Displaying quotes 46 - 54 of 190 in total