J.D.: By the way, Julie's here but I'm not going to kiss and tell.
Elliot: Oh really? Cause I just got your text that said "bone city".
J.D.: Oh really? That came through?

J.D.: I know, I haven't hit it in awhile but there's good reason for that.
Dr. Cox: Two good reasons: his face and his personality.

Fine. I may have told her that she smells like my Mom. Which, by the way, I still maintain as a compliment.

Elliot: You know, I actually like Julie. So, don't do that thing you always do.
J.D.: If you're referring to the game "Find the Saltine", relax. I don't even play that with Turk anymore.
(Later)
Turk: Behind your ear.
J.D.: (Withdrawing Saltine from behind his ear) My friend, you have found the Saltine. Uh, but, don't tell Elliot we're still playing.

J.D.: How did you know I'd move too fast with Julie?
Elliot: Because I know you!
Dr. Cox: How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?
Carla: Because I know you!
Turk: How did you that Kelso just wanted respect?
Janitor: Because I know him!
Todd: (Watching in the security cameras) Wow! This is so cool!

J.D.: I wasn't saying you smelled like my Mom, I was saying you smelled like my-mum. It's an exotic flower indigenous to the hills of Costa Rica.
Julie: God, I feel so stupid.
J.D.: Hugsies.
J.D.'s narration: (While hugging Julie) Ohhhh, mommy.

Thanks for doing that. I wanted a picture of us old, you know, that way if one of us dies in a tragic skiing accident we'll always have that memory of us together.

Julie gets up to leave, drops her water in Elliot's spaghetti, hits Elliot in the back of the head with her purse, then hits her face with the napkin container
Julie: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I am so sorry!
Elliot: Oh no, it happens.
J.D.: It does, it happens.

J.D.: Why ostriches?
Mr. Sutton: They're such majestic creatures, don't you think? And, you know, they're kind of like my children. (Removing belt and displaying it for J.D.) Plus, I make belts out of their necks.

Turk: Dude, don't sweat it - It says here that the ostrich is generally a docile creature.
J.D.: Thank God!
Turk: It also says their kick can kill a man!

J.D.: Did you try to escape?
Turk: I did escape. There was one waiting in the car.
Mr. Sutton: That's Leon. Loves the car rides.

Turk: Can I admit something to you? I kinda missed not getting my hug today.
J.D.: Here comes your vanilla bear!
J.D. leans over to hug him
Turk: J.D., J.D, oh J.D.
J.D. falls out of the tree

Scrubs Quotes

... Turk, Turk, Turk, Turk. I can't talk right now! I'm at your wedding.

</i>

Doug: How long do I have to stay up here?
Janitor: Just until I finish pretending to read the newspaper. Hm! Apparently there was some sort of election held recently.