Fine. I may have told her that she smells like my Mom. Which, by the way, I still maintain as a compliment.

J.D.: Can you believe we've been talking for two hours?
Julie: Seriously?
J.D.: Nah, while you were in the bathroom I set the clocks two hours ahead so you'd think time was just flying by.
Julie: Really? While I was in the bathroom, I wrote my name in the mirror with my finger so the next time you took a hot shower and it fogged up, you'd think ghosts were telling you to be with me.

J.D.'s narration: So I had to use Elliot's advice with Julie. Luckily, she's not great at gloating.
Elliot: Ha ha you had sex last night with a beautiful girl you really like.
J.D.'s narration: Sometimes she needs a little help.
J.D.: You probably meant to say if it weren't for you, I'd still be dating my laptop.
Elliot: Right! In your face! Thank you.

J.D.: I know, I haven't hit it in awhile but there's good reason for that.
Dr. Cox: Two good reasons: his face and his personality.

J.D.: How did you know I'd move too fast with Julie?
Elliot: Because I know you!
Dr. Cox: How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?
Carla: Because I know you!
Turk: How did you that Kelso just wanted respect?
Janitor: Because I know him!
Todd: (Watching in the security cameras) Wow! This is so cool!

Why would Julie just take off like that? I bet my body intimidated her. That's it! I'm selling that Bowflex on Craig's List.

Thanks for doing that. I wanted a picture of us old, you know, that way if one of us dies in a tragic skiing accident we'll always have that memory of us together.

Julie gets up to leave, drops her water in Elliot's spaghetti, hits Elliot in the back of the head with her purse, then hits her face with the napkin container
Julie: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I am so sorry!
Elliot: Oh no, it happens.
J.D.: It does, it happens.

J.D.: Sooo, Mr. Sutton. When you came in with heartburn, I bet you thought I'd kick your butt right outta here. But, not this guy. I admitted you and I stayed up all night studying your EKG because I had a hunch...and no girlfriend. But, it was mostly the hunch thing. And, that hunch paid off because if I hadn't found that blocked artery you'd be dead right now.
J.D.'s Narration: And here comes the gratitude. The two words every doctor lives to hear.
Mr. Sutton: Later, Dude.

J.D.: Don't be such a baby! It's a magnetic image. I apologize Mr. Foster. I'm a little upset. My scooter, Sasha, was assassinated this morning.
Turk: Yeah, he was so attached to that thing. He used to wear a bracelet that said "Sasha forever".
J.D.: Come on, Turk. It was just a joke. And I only wore it for one week.
J.D.'s wrist hits the machine
J.D.: Ok so I still wear the bracelet.

J.D.: (Speaking at the microphone) This whole experience got me thinking about the nature of gratitude. I guess in the end, whether you're a doctor or a garbage man-
Dr. Kelso: Dorian! What are you doing?

Turk: Dude, he keeps a hug schedule with his friends!
J.D.: Okay, Turk.. looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2 o' clock spot and getting penciled in for never! How does that feel? Does it sting?
J.D.'s Narration: He's hurting! Hug him.. hug him now!

Scrubs Quotes

Perry, what has two thumbs and still doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso! I thought we'd met.

Dr. Kelso

J.D.: Kudos on the nice pooper.
Ron: Thank you.
J.D.: Mine's firm like mutton.
Ron: Lovely.