J.D.: By the way, Julie's here but I'm not going to kiss and tell.
Elliot: Oh really? Cause I just got your text that said "bone city".
J.D.: Oh really? That came through?
All right Mrs. Nickels, your new hip is on the house 'cause this girl is smoking!
J.D.'s narration: So I had to use Elliot's advice with Julie. Luckily, she's not great at gloating.
Elliot: Ha ha you had sex last night with a beautiful girl you really like.
J.D.'s narration: Sometimes she needs a little help.
J.D.: You probably meant to say if it weren't for you, I'd still be dating my laptop.
Elliot: Right! In your face! Thank you.
Elliot: You know, I actually like Julie. So, don't do that thing you always do.
J.D.: If you're referring to the game "Find the Saltine", relax. I don't even play that with Turk anymore.
Turk: Behind your ear.
J.D.: (Withdrawing Saltine from behind his ear) My friend, you have found the Saltine. Uh, but, don't tell Elliot we're still playing.
J.D.: I wasn't saying you smelled like my Mom, I was saying you smelled like my-mum. It's an exotic flower indigenous to the hills of Costa Rica.
Julie: God, I feel so stupid.
J.D.'s narration: (While hugging Julie) Ohhhh, mommy.
J.D.: How did you know I'd move too fast with Julie?
Elliot: Because I know you!
Dr. Cox: How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?
Carla: Because I know you!
Turk: How did you that Kelso just wanted respect?
Janitor: Because I know him!
Todd: (Watching in the security cameras) Wow! This is so cool!
Julie gets up to leave, drops her water in Elliot's spaghetti, hits Elliot in the back of the head with her purse, then hits her face with the napkin container
Julie: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I am so sorry!
Elliot: Oh no, it happens.
J.D.: It does, it happens.
Thanks for doing that. I wanted a picture of us old, you know, that way if one of us dies in a tragic skiing accident we'll always have that memory of us together.
J.D.: (Speaking at the microphone) This whole experience got me thinking about the nature of gratitude. I guess in the end, whether you're a doctor or a garbage man-
Dr. Kelso: Dorian! What are you doing?
Turk: Can I admit something to you? I kinda missed not getting my hug today.
J.D.: Here comes your vanilla bear!
J.D. leans over to hug him
Turk: J.D., J.D, oh J.D.
J.D. falls out of the tree
Turk: Dude, he keeps a hug schedule with his friends!
J.D.: Okay, Turk.. looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2 o' clock spot and getting penciled in for never! How does that feel? Does it sting?
J.D.'s Narration: He's hurting! Hug him.. hug him now!
J.D.: Don't be such a baby! It's a magnetic image. I apologize Mr. Foster. I'm a little upset. My scooter, Sasha, was assassinated this morning.
Turk: Yeah, he was so attached to that thing. He used to wear a bracelet that said "Sasha forever".
J.D.: Come on, Turk. It was just a joke. And I only wore it for one week.
J.D.'s wrist hits the machine
J.D.: Ok so I still wear the bracelet.