Jim Halpert Quotes
Pam: Wanna count her fingers and toes again?
Jim: No. Let her rest. I'm sure there are still 12 of each.
She's also fully effaced, which... I don't know what that is.
Pam: Don't be mad.
Jim: Mad? How could I be mad? We're having a little girl.
We're calling an audible. That's her call because she's the quarterback. I'm just the left tackle... who happened to get her pregnant.
Jim: [The baby] wasn't conceived here. Burning Man. Port-o-potty!
Michael: Yuck! TMI! How was it? Tell me later.
Jim: I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.
Pam: I cannot wait for that joke to be over.
Jim: In which movie did they realize the boss was within earshot and they just went to talk to her?
Michael: Lethal Weapon?
Jim: Then I think we should do it the Lethal Weapon way.
Jim: If not, there's always the army. The... infantry.
You've been shown a nonsensical video. You're probably wondering what's going on. Well, you're not alone.
Jim: Wait. We haven't gone under. We've been sold. That could mean many different things.
Michael: It's hard for me to imagine a scenario in which Meredith Palmer keeps her job and David Wallace does not. No offense Meredith.
Meredith: No, I get it.
Michael: How's everybody doing?
Jim: Not great. You heckled Santa for an hour and a half.
Michael: That was a different guy. That was Jesus. Jesus ruined the party. Petulant Jesus.
Angela: Are you serious? That is so offensive.
Jim: You can't yell out "I need this, I need this" as you pin down an employee on your lap.
Michael: Okay. You know what Jim, there are two Santas in the room. Things get ruthless!
Michael: Do you understand you forced my hand.