Pam: Wanna count her fingers and toes again?
Jim: No. Let her rest. I'm sure there are still 12 of each.

She's also fully effaced, which... I don't know what that is.

Pam: Don't be mad.
Jim: Mad? How could I be mad? We're having a little girl.

We're calling an audible. That's her call because she's the quarterback. I'm just the left tackle... who happened to get her pregnant.

Jim: [The baby] wasn't conceived here. Burning Man. Port-o-potty!
Michael: Yuck! TMI! How was it? Tell me later.

Jim: I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.
Pam: I cannot wait for that joke to be over.

Jim: In which movie did they realize the boss was within earshot and they just went to talk to her?
Michael: Lethal Weapon?
Jim: Then I think we should do it the Lethal Weapon way.

Jim: If not, there's always the army. The... infantry.
Pam: Okay.

You've been shown a nonsensical video. You're probably wondering what's going on. Well, you're not alone.

Jim: Wait. We haven't gone under. We've been sold. That could mean many different things.
Michael: It's hard for me to imagine a scenario in which Meredith Palmer keeps her job and David Wallace does not. No offense Meredith.
Meredith: No, I get it.

Michael: How's everybody doing?
Jim: Not great. You heckled Santa for an hour and a half.
Michael: That was a different guy. That was Jesus. Jesus ruined the party. Petulant Jesus.
Angela: Are you serious? That is so offensive.

Jim: You can't yell out "I need this, I need this" as you pin down an employee on your lap.
Michael: Okay. You know what Jim, there are two Santas in the room. Things get ruthless!
Jim: Yup.
Michael: Do you understand you forced my hand.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 442 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

Robert: You want a three and a half day weekend for Columbus Day?
Andy: Yes I do.
Robert: And you are aware Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans?
Andy: I don't care.

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