Johnny "Drama" Chase Quotes
Eric: Forget that girl. The only reason she was with me was because I'm your manager.
Turtle: So? Do you know how much pussy I got in this town that I didn't deserve?
Drama: All of it?
Drama: Let me get this straight, she convinces you to get these extravagant accommodations, and then she bails?
Eric: She didn't bail, she got sick. Before the date unlike your girls that get sick when they arrive
Drama: Whoever heard of a girl who cycles mid-month anyway?
Eric: Yeah, when do you cycle, Drama?
Drama: Three months without pussy, E. That's rough. You're almost a virgin again.
Vince: Yeah, why do you think he's calling?
Drama: It's like the guy's got his hymen restored
Turtle: You got a smoking hot assistant!
Adam: (motions to Drama) And it's all because of this guy.
Drama: Really?
Adam: No, I'm kidding.
Johnny Drama: It's emasculating having your kid brother pay for your head shots.
Eric: And Vince paying for the rest of your life is what? Empowering?
Eric: Why's it so hard to get a good slice in LA anyway?
Drama: Tap water. That's why you can't get a decent bagel, either. Except on Fairfax.
Vince: What, Johnny, there's different water on Fairfax?
Drama: Yeah, Vince. The Jews import it from Burl Park.
Drama: It's a well known fact that a girl on her period is much hornier.
Turtle: And there's no need for a raincoat!
Drama: Vince, you ever go 3 months without pussy?
Turtle: Vince ain't ever gone 3 days.
Vince: No wait, that's not true... Sophomore year.
Turtle: Really?
Eric: Yeah, he had mono.
Drama: So, she wouldn't even blow you?
Turtle: Or give you a nice tug?
Drama: That's bullshit!
Had I shown up, and Kristen was missing a leg, I still would have taken care of business
Johnny Drama: [to the producer] You look familiar.
Audition Producer: You auditioned for me a couple of years ago.
Johnny Drama: Oh yeah yeah, how did that go?
Audition Producer: [pauses, doesn't really know what to say] You know...
Johnny Drama: Yeah, you can't book 'em all.
