Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSPopular Jules Cobb Quotes
Jeff: The stay at home and drink date? Always dangerous. Alcohol makes it hard for you to filter yourself.
Jules: You'd make a pretty girl.
Jeff: And we're off.
Jules: Seriously, I have a skirt that's a little too big for me and God knows you have the legs. All we have to do is shave you down and then tuck some stuff back.
Jeff: No tucking.
Jules: Not that I would date two guys at the same time anyways, because in grade school this nun told me if I kissed two boys in one day their spit would mix in my mouth and it would kill me.
Ellie: Religion is fantastic.
Bobby: I'm going through stuff too. They're repaving the parking lot where I keep my boat so I'm going to have to move. It's time like this I wish I had my own parking lot.
Jules: Really? That's what you wish for?
Drinking out of a third place trophy makes you feel like a winner.
Jules: Wow, it' my first very golf cart ride of shame.
Bobby: It's not that bad, just pretend like you're coming home from a ball or something.
Jules: Yeah, I'm Cinderella.
Jules: I'm actually feeling a little guilty. Last night you left your purse here and when the pizza man came i was two dollars short, so I took it from you.
Ellie: Two bucks? Big deal.
Jules: I also took a pack of gum, lipstick, and 28 other dollars. I was going out to get wine.
Ellie: You stole from me to support a drinking habit? I am so proud of you.
Jules: I want to put that on a string and wear it around my neck.
Ellie: sweetie, when you say people's body parts are so adorable you want to wear them, it makes you seem a little serial killer-ey, especially when you do it about kids.
Jules: I'd love to have a scarf of little baby hands.
Ellie: See, that's not a great out loud thought.
Jules: Would you help us figure out who gets dibs on a guy.
Laurie: Well that's easy, which one of you is pregnant?
Jules: No one.
Laurie: Then I got nothing.
Jules: If you're not going to talk to me, why'd you come back to my house?
Ellie: Cause I'm wet and I know you just recovered your couch.
Grayson: When women get older, it's icky. When men get older, it's adorable. It's my favorite double standard.
Jules: Yeah, I'm not a huge fan.
Jules: When you act like you don't want to talk to me, it just makes me want to talk to you even more.
Grayson: That may be the world's most annoying personality trait.
Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.
