Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSPopular Jules Cobb Quotes
Travis, we'll never be even. Want to see the scar from the Cesarean section? There's a hair growing in it now.
Ellie: We are not friends, human beings cannot be friends with chimps
Bobby: Sure they can. My buddy Daryl was best friends with his chimp, Binky.
Jules: It's true. Until Binky turned six and then he get angry one day and ripped of Daryl's arm.
Bobby: They're still friends, they're just not best friends.
Sheila: Why do you have a post-it that says "I'm awesome?"
Jules: Because I am.
You need to get your crazy ass out of my office right now or I'm gonna call plaza security and they're gonna roller blade in.. in like 40 minutes.
Jules: Oh my god Laurie, your butt looks amazing in those jeans.
Sheila: Goodbye Ellen.
Jules: I'm gonna be Portia.
Jules: We all have our embarrassing family members.
Bobby [walks in]: Hello! That wasn't a coincidence, I was out back waiting for an entrance line.
Jules: I had sex in your house. Right over there.
Ellie: So? We conceived Stan on your kitchen island.
Barb: Hey Jules. Hmm, feels good to have a lot of power between your legs, doesn't it? Motorcycles are good too.
Jules: Do you just follow me around, waiting to say things?
Laurie: She almost hit a cop.
Jules: It was a crossing guar. If it was a cop I would have slowed down when sure started chasing us.
Jules: She's so young she may actually be from the future.
Ellie: Does her dad work on the moon?
Jules: Travis, come here. If I die I need to know that you will never be able to move on.
Travis: How about I grieve for three months but then I look for you in every girl I date?
Jules: Deal.
Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.
