This is my fault. I should have written a note by the phone that says "Bobby, do not answer my phone." Oh, I was wrong here it is.

He's like a newborn calf on wheels.

One Soy Latte for Lady J. Love Explosion.

You know how hard it is to shower when you don't have a shower?

Ellie: You use four towels every shower
Jules: Face, body, hair, feet!

Laurie: Wait, why do we have to have coffee over here?
Jules: 'Cause wherever I am is where we have coffee.
Ellie: But this is horrible.

I'm gonna need a bigger boat.

Jules: I fought a bum for wine and lost.
Ellie: Didn't you mom teach you bums always win wine fights?

Jules: It's time to suck up!
Ellie: That's for boys.
Jules: It's time to uterus up!

Dear Lord. You know I don't bother you unless it's important. Except for that time I asked you to speed up my bangs.

I own the shush clap.

Laurie: I went to a crap school in a crap neighborhood and reading really got me out.
Jules: It did?
Laurie: No, car modeling did. But it's really fun to say reading did.

Cougar Town Quotes

Tell her I'll get like, jury duty drunk.

Laurie

Don't hate the player, hate the game, yo!

Ellie