Kelly Kapoor Quotes
No, no, no no. She's hot, okay? Because if you are saying Hillary Swank isn't hot, then you are saying that I am not hot. Because obviously I am not as hot as Hillary Swank!
Kelly: There's Andy, he's in his car. You guys, what is he doing?
Phyllis: Why isn't Dwight turning around?
Oscar: The Prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour. He deserves the win.
Creed: Yeah.
Dwight: Come on! Where are you? Let's do this thing! Come on! Come on out!
Angela: [watching from the conference room] I can't believe they're gonna fight over me.
Kelly: I guess people have fewer choices as they get older.
Michael: Toby can I see those? Ooh. [takes photos, throws them on the floor] What's the matter? What's the matter? You scared?
Dwight: Those are fighting words.
Michael: You mad? You mad at me?
Dwight: I hope he doesn't haul off and just hit you.
Michael: Do you want to do that? You want to hit me, you want to punch me?
Dwight: Hmmm?
Michael: Huh? He might do it...
Kelly: Punch him, Toby!
Michael: I dare you to. Come on.
Dwight: Come on!!
Kelly: We're back together again baby.
Ryan: We're back.
Kelly: They tried to keep us apart, but they couldn't. It was like destiny.
Ryan: I- I realized that for whatever reason I... just couldn't do better than Kelly.
Ryan: Okay. You have to break up with Darryl. I already typed out a text message for you. All you have to do is press "send".
Kelly: I don't know. I mean, it's well-written and all, I just-
Ryan: Has to be done. We'll press send together. [phone beeps]
Kelly: Oh my God. He's going to kill us.
Ryan: I'd like to see him try. [kisses Kelly]
Kelly: [phone beeps] Oh! He says it's cool. He said, "It's cool."
Ryan: That's all he wrote?
Kelly: That's all he wrote.
No. Not going to happen. He has hurt me too much and too often. And I am in a healthy relationship so I'm not gonna flaunt it and I'm not gonna hurt him, but that door is closed.
Ryan: Just checking out where I'm going to be pretty soon. When Pam gets back. Gonna be close quarters. Gonna be a lot of tension.
Kelly: For you. I'm with Darryl.
Ryan: This looks like where I'll probably do my pushups every day.
Kelly: Is that supposed to impress me?
Andy: So Jan, tell my intended about the miracle of childbirth.
Jan: Well, actually, I, uh, I had a tub birth. And it was really, really quite amazing.
Angela: You gave birth in a tub?
Jan: Yeah, it's a really nice transition from womb to world, you know, kind of like a big womb.
Kelly: Um, so you're in the tub with everything?
Jan: Oh, yeah, the afterbirth floats, yeah.
Creed: Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.
Jan: Oh no, it's actually really hygienic, Creed.
Creed: Ugh.
Stanley: I'm done.
Dwight: I don't understand why our website has to have social networking at all.
Jim: Yeah, I actually have to agree with Dwight on that one.
Ryan: It's all about creating a one stop shop consumer experience, alright? You're chatting with your friends, you're talking about the latest music, about the election; all of it is happening in our virtual paper store.
Jim: And then an older gentleman asked you "Boxers or briefs?"
Creed: I don't get the big fuss here, I like the site.
Kelly: If I'd have created a website with as many problems, I'd kill myself.
Kelly: Can I be your bridesmaid?
Angela: No.
I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison. I'm gonna wear my hottest track suit, and get my hair done, and then be like, "Hi Ryan." And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, "Damn! Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend. Ooh, I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison."
