Kevin: Everyone is gonna be there. Angela, Phyllis... even Creed is a maybe.
Andy: Creed is going?!?

Oscar: What kind of statement are you making with that costume, Kevin?
Kevin: The statement that I'm making, Oscar, is I kind of look like Michael Moore.

Kevin: He's like a better looking Andy.
Andy: Thanks Kevin.

Andy: Can anyone else name a consequence of sex?
Kevin: It feels unbelievable.

C is for Suspension!

Gabe: This is violent and offensive.
Kevin: Thank you. It really makes me self-conscious about my voice.
Gabe: It's awful [offers a tissue]
Kevin: I'm not crying.
Gabe: There's food on your face.

Dwight: That is an amusing link. I'd like it sent to me please.
Kevin: Angela, this is inappropriate.
Angela: This is my favorite day!

They're making fun of Cookie Monster, I get that; but in a weird way, it's like they're making fun of me.

Jim: Do you wanna just make a run for it?
Pam: Maybe.
Kevin: [walks by, starts screaming into Pam's chest] Wahhhhhhhh! Wahhhhh! Mammyyyyy!
Jim: What is happening?

Pam: Kevin!
Kevin: [hugs her] Ahhhhhhh!
Pam: Yay! How are you!
Kevin: Oh I missed you so much!
Pam Beesly: Aww!
Kevin: Yeahhhhhh! Wahhhhhh! Wahhhhhhhhhh! Wahhhhhhhhh!
[cut to interview]
Kevin: Well when a new mom hears a baby cry, her you-know-whats fill up with you-know-what? And then her shirt gets... you know ... That would be funny!

Michael: Wait, what day is today?
Kevin: Um, tonight is Ghost Whisperer. So Friday.

Kevin: (about the leads) They're in the trash! They're in the trash!
Dwight: Trash. Code... Alright, Meredith! Take off your dress.
Meredith: Okie-dokie.
Kevin: No, dear God no! It's in the trash can, in the kitchen.
Meredith: Coming off either way!

The Office Quotes

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

Michael (to Gabe)

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael