South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Cartman: Pretty sweet, huh?
Kyle: What the hell is this?
Cartman: What's it look like? Hundreds of thousands of votes from all the swing states.
Kyle: I don't believe it.
Cartman: No really, there are states full of swingers. Bunch of perverts if you ask me.

Butters, people can't just go around beating up people who have diabetes!

Kyle: The Jewish population isn't dying out, fatass, it's growing!
Cartman: What?
Marcus: This is Marcus with InSecurity, is everything alright?
Cartman: Yeah, I just heard some troubling news and it set off my InSecurity.

Kyle: How can you sit there and collect money on a show about a fat child killing himself? Where's your sense of shame?
Token: I can remember exactly where I was the first time I saw Honey Boo Boo. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. A shameful, fat family eating white-trash food, to their deaths? And then I saw what network it was on: The Learning Channel. If they can feel okay about that, why can't I?

Kyle: I've been thinking. How did shamelessness get to this? Did it start with fat people on scooters? Or did it start way before that? And then I started thinking: maybe it was us. I don't know, but maybe somehow we lowered the bar, a long time ago, And now we're all sitting here, in the stink of it all. There's no going back, Stan.

Token: Kyle, I'm trying to make compelling television.
Kyle: You got Randy Newman to do the theme song, you're not trying that hard.

Kyle: What the hell are you doing telling people we're a gay couple?
Cartman: Oh, heard that through the grapevine, did you?

How many iPod nanos is friendship worth? I guess, one.

Real Kyle: So you intended us for us to go ziplining all along? Why, Stan?
Real Stan: If you signed up 3 friends...you got an iPod nano.
Real Kyle: You sold us out for an iPod nano?!

It was like having the life sucked out of you. That's all it is, sliding down a cable.

Kyle: Just be careful you don't end up naked and jackin' it in San Diego.
Stan: What the hell does that mean?

You're gonna stop bullying. With Cartman singing about his vagina.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 322 in total

South Park Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron