Favorite Larry David Quotes
The woman is on this earth to catch balls. Interesting theory. Too bad I don't have a daughter. I would like to impart that knowledge to her.
Larry: I can't wait to call my parents. They are gonna be so proud of me! When I tell my father I figured out out that navigation system, he's gonna flip his wig! And he's got one too!
Cheryl: Can we turn on the radio?
Larry: Oh, he's gonna be very proud of Larry figuring out the navigation system!
Cheryl: Please.
Larry: "Daddy, I'm not so stupid!"
Cheryl: I thought you didn't like talking to people.
Larry: I don't like talking to people I know. Strangers, I don't have a problem with.
You think I'd send anyone to this piece of shit store?
Becky: You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary.
Larry: I thought they were animal cookies.
Becky: Jesus Christ is not an animal!
Larry: I thought he was a monkey.
Mary: Kill him, Joseph, kill him!
Larry: Shut up, Mary!
Larry: I don't know why you call him an asshole. He's not an asshole, he's just shy.
Cheryl: No, he's not shy. He thinks he's smarter than ever everbody else and he sits there and he judges and he-
Larry: No, he doesn't, he's just shy! You got shy/asshole confusion, my friend.
Cheryl: No, I don't think so.
Larry: Yes, I think so my friend.
Larry: I don't really get this fascination that people have with the ocean.
Cheryl: No?
Larry: I mean, I stare at it for ten minutes, and I go, "Okay, I get it.
Have you heard of Switzerland? It's a country in Europe and they don't like to fight. They let everybody do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate
Phyliss: I'm finally in the house that Jerry Seinfeld built!
Larry: With his own hands, and some hammers, he actually worked on it, like Jimmy Carter
Shoe Salesman: I am not a shoe whore!
Larry: I didn't accuse you of being a shoe whore!
Cheryl: Why would somebody steal tickets to Monterey?
Larry: Why not? Monterey's a very beautiful place.
Cheryl: Was anything else stolen? Was anything else gone?
Larry: I don't know. I wasn't paying attention.
Cheryl: You know, all our information is on there: our address, our telephone number, ...
Larry: It doesn't matter. He's not going to break into our house. He's going to Monterey
