Kiera: Do you like girl scout cookies?
Larry: I find them abhorrent, but come in.

I get plenty of hook ups Larry. You don't see 'em. You don't notice the small shit, Larry.


Larry: It says "all you can eat."
Manager: Well it's all "you can eat."

Cheryl: What are you doing?
Larry: I'm practicing a tic I'm working on.

I can call you bald. It's like black people calling each other n*gga. Hey baldy. Ya know.

You should have recused yourself. We can't go up against each other. It's in the code. The bald code.

Larry: You know what Berg, I like the cut of your jib.
Berg: Thank you very much Captain.

Dr. Schaffer: Your life is mostly going to be taking her to appointments or here with her in the house.
Larry: I can still play golf.
Dr. Schaffer: Absolutely not. I don't imagine you'd have time for that.
Larry: Once a week?
Dr. Schaffer: No times a week. You won't have time for that.
Larry: What? Nine holes?
Dr. Schaffer: Zero holes, Mr. David!

You can't make an empty gesture to a Funkhouser.

Cady: People are gonna love you.
Larry: Why are they gonna love me? People dislike me intensely.

Anna: It's the sabbath; I cannot drive.
Larry: We can walk. I'll take you piggy-back.
Anna: (sexy) Oh, now you're talking!

Larry: I waved to a guy in a Prius and he didn't wave back.
Jeff: I don't wave to people in the same car as me.
Larry: We're Prius drivers; we're a special breed.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes

Larry: I think I am just going to get a Cobb Salad. I'd like to make a few substitutions, if that's OK. I'll get... no bacon. No eggs. Bleu cheese on the side.
Cliff Cobb: Are you sure you want a Cobb Salad? Do you do that every time you order that salad?
Larry: Do you have a problem with it?
Cliff Cobb: It's my grandfather's salad. I'm a Cobb of Cobb salad fame.
Larry: I think that this is a real bullshit story

Wanda Sykes: Larry, you are an ass man!
Larry: I am not an ass man! I don't have an ass fetish! I am not obssessed with asses