Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSPopular Laurie Keller Quotes
Laurie: Burn in hell you sad, desperate skank.
Grayson: Texting your mom?
Laurie: Yeah.
No one's ever made me a stalker video that I didn't have to see in a courtroom first. I love it.
Laurie: Hey, for the record I wore underwear tonight so you'd think I was classy.
Travis: No you didn't.
Laurie: I didn't. Turns out I don't actually own any.
Even I’m uncomfortable, and I once had sex in a cemetery. I had "Rita Rogers Loving Wife and Mother" printed on my back for two weeks.
Jules: Hey, does it make me gay if I eat this?
Ellie: I think it does.
Jules: Well I’m doing it anyway.
Laurie: Do you want a fork?
That’s the first time I've been called a slut in a bad way.
I haven’t hurt this bad since I had to push my childhood home to a gas station. I would give anything to stop.
Letting you put this green screen in my apartment was one the worst mistakes of my life, and I've went out with Dennis Rodman y’all.
Ellie: We're at a public event this is not the place for ear sex and a full body rub down.
Laurie: All you do is take me granted.
Laurie: Highway to the lady zone, what what.
Ellie: Highway indeed.
Ellie: Stan is a major handful.
Laurie: Bitch please, one of my brother's thought he was a pitbull.
We know that if there's something we can't handle with this kid, we can always lean on you.
