Laurie: You have to spend money to make money, right?
Bobby: That's a popular saying, so I believe in it. It's like "Location, Location, Location." I don't know what the hell that means, but man I believe it to the core.

Bobby: Man, my name has got a lot of B's in it.
Laurie: My name doesn't have any B's in it.
Bobby: Sorry I brought it up.

Grayson: That's the dumbest idea Laurie has ever had, and that includes the Gayke Shop.
Laurie: Find me a gay who doesn't like cake!

Jules: Name one thing I've done to Travis that is "meddlesome."
Bobby: Watched him sleep.
Ellie: You scared his girlfriend away.
Laurie: You want to live in his blood.

Bobby: Steak and champagne.
Laurie: I love me some beef and bubbles. Oh! That should be our secret detective names.

You broke Bobby, you fix him. And I'm borrowing this. It's cute.

Ellie: Really Bug Hookers?
Laurie: That's the title!

Do you know who else mates for life? Termites.

Could you imagine if we ever dated. It would be like dropping a bomb on a forest fire.

(to Ellie about Andy) I'm going to beat the optimism out of that man.

Jules: What did he just say?
Laurie: Got me!
Ellie: Razzle dazzle.

You said you'd be mean, but that cut like a knife.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Did you finally get a visit from the nutsack fairy?

Ellie