Leslie Knope Quotes (Page 37)
Season 2, Episode 9: "The Camel"
Leslie: Can we all agree on eliminating any of these designs.
April: Ann's blows.
Ann: Wow, don't hold back.
April: No offense but it's a giant picture of a park. That's not art.
Ann: Well, at least it's not a fat human hamster eating meat.
April: You don't even work here.
Leslie: OK, guys you both have a point. Ann, yours was a little trite. And April, yours was hellish, and might make someone vomit.
April: Thank you.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leslie: People love voting for tragedy. Look at the Oscars! This is our Holocaust movie. This is our English Patient.
Ann: Sounds like you're exploiting the tragedy.
Leslie: See, Ann gets it.
• Rating: Unrated
Leslie: We lost a lot of good bread that day, as well as several human lives. And it also made the whole town smell like toast, which one resident described as quote, "disturbingly enticing."
• Rating: Unrated
Leslie: If we're going to beat all the other departments, we have to choose something that will stand the test of time. Like the Mona Lisa, or the music of Squeeze.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
April: So this is a multimedia project. First, a bunch of rats made out of garbage. And um, this is a TV screen that'll be like a big flat screen TV and it'll play looped video of knee surgeries. And then, this is a human-size hamster wheel that will be next to the mural, if we can get one. And it'll be spinning and there will be like a fat guy in it all the time like screaming and like eating raw beef and like bleeding and like blood will come out of his mouth and stuff. And um, it'll be like right next to, the mural.
Leslie: I have one question. Why?
April: If you have to ask, you don't get it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Donna: OK, so, here's where it gets a little dicey 'cause there's not that many celebrities from Indiana. So, um, a Nascar. Uh, my friend Becky, Ron Swanson...
Leslie: Donna, who's the Jesus?
Donna: That would be Greg Kinnear.
Leslie: Do you think he's the best choice for Jesus? I mean he was great on ER.
Tom: Greg Kinnear wasn't in ER.
Leslie: Yeah he was.
Ann: I don't think that he was.
Leslie: Who am I thinking of?
• Rating: Unrated
Leslie: I know everything about this town and these murals, and that's why this is a dream come true. Literally, I have had a dream where I design a mural, but then it turned into a nightmare because the mural started talking and it came alive. And it was whispering and I couldn't hear what it was saying so I leaned in close and then it ate me. At one point Gina Gershon was there.
• Rating: Unrated
Donna: No offense, Leslie, but I'm not an artist.
Leslie: That's not true, Donna. I've seen your fingernails.
Donna: Um, I pay someone to do this.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leslie: You can have two legacies. Look at Madonna: great singer, amazing arms.
Tom: Look at O.J. Simpson: Heisman Trophy winner, Naked Gun.
• Rating: Unrated
Leslie: Joe, you work in sewage. Your department literally specializes in crap. You really want to do this?
• Rating: Unrated
Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 475
