I won! Nobody beats the Liz!

I'm negotiating against you, you magnificent bastard.

Jenna: I need someone who has so little going on in her life, she lets me get all the attention.
Liz: And I need someone in my life who doesn't listen to a word I say.
Jenna: Thank you. I just got it cut.

Man, do my feet hurt in heels sometimes...and other things women talk about.

I wish my first roommate hadn't died of old age!

Jenna: What were you even doing at that bachelor party?
Liz: Derek thought I was a guy and I didn't want to ruin what was happening between us.

Liz: What are those?
Jenna: Leaches. They're good for your skin, and I've lost tons of blood weight.

Criss: You don't use the tab closers on cereal boxes.
Liz: If you think those are doing anything to seal in freshness, you are living in a fantasy world, pal.

Liz: And now he's inserting himself into this.
Criss: Well that's what she said but...

Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.

Why did you have to offend the gay community? It is the most organized of all the communities. They make the Japanese look like the Greeks.

Liz: You're a 42 year old man.
Tracy: No I'm not. I took a real age test. It said I'm dead.

30 Rock Quotes

Jenna: Oh, I'm not worried because I have something the other actors don't.
Liz: Don't say your sexuality.
Jenna: My sexuality.
Liz: Oh, god, Jenna! When has that ever worked?
Jenna: When has it not worked?!

Passing out and cursing on St. Patrick's Day. Is nothing sacred anymore?