Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPopular Lois Griffin Quotes
Lois: Oh my god, that was amazing. I'm gonna have to crawl to the bathroom.
Peter: Yeah, that was incredible. It was the first time I had an orgasm out the front and back.
Lois: Oh Peter, this voice of yours is really something. I can't get enough of it!
Peter: Yeah, it's been pretty great. Y'know, I even won a deep voice contest with Joe yesterday.
Lois: Peter, what happened to your voice?
Peter: Oh, you know what happened, you sexy minx. My white blood cells attacked the pathogens and created antibodies and then the pathogens were filtered out by my kidneys into my urine and then expelled from my body, you slut.
Lois: Dr. Hartman, is Peter gonna be okay?
Dr. Hartman: One more person asks me about a patient today, I'm gonna scream.
Lois: Who threw out my sequined top?
Stewie: You're 43, accept it!
Peter: Shut up, Meg!
Lois: Peter!
Chris: Dad!
Brian: You're back!
Meg: [dejectedly] Yay.
Lois: I can't believe Horace's dead.
Stewie: I can't believe we left Brian in the car with the windows up.
Lois: An increase in crime? That can't be right. I haven't noticed anything like that.
Stewie: You're in the house 14 hours a day, what would you notice?
Lois: Well, I disagree with you guys. I think Quahog is still pretty great.
Peter: You know, it's hard for me to take the things you say seriously when I know what's been in that mouth of yours.
Lois: Look, I realize Quahog isn't the small town it used to be, but it's still very special to me. It's my home.
Stewie: Yeah, come on guys, she's got dyed roots in this community.
Lois: Oh my God! We've been burglarized!
Stewie: Well, we'll just have to get that $17 insurance check and start over.
Lois: Peter, you went out and bought a farm without talking to me about it?
Peter: Well, Lois, in my defense, I have nothing to back up the first part of my sentence.
