Lois Griffin Quotes
Chris: It's made of skittles! You want to eat the baby together on the way home?
Lois: Yeah, I'd like that.
Chris: Hey Heather I made your favorite cookies, now I want to hear about your day.
Peter: Hey Lois I heard Katherine Heigl likes to french kiss.
Lois: Oh my god, Chris treats that pile of junk better than Peter treats me!
Lois: I thought you said you'd take care of it!
Peter: I did. He slept with it, now he'll slowly grow to hate it for the next 20 years.
You shouldn't have to do porn to feel appreciated.
Lois: Is that what you really thoguht?
Peter: I did, I really did.
Chris: Mom, is dad gonna die?
Lois: Well Brian's the one with the brain tumor.
Lois: Doctor, do you think the brain tumor could have anything to do with Brian's recent behavior?
Doctor: Hmm, I haven't heard of brains being linked to behavior, but I suppose anything's possible.
Lois: Peter, we gotta go talk to Donna.
Peter: Alright, but you need to cool down first, Lois. Find a way to channel your anger. What I do is throw a shot put into a crowd and make it look like an accident.
Peter: I'm having an affair.
Lois: That's ridiculous.
Peter: It's not ridiculous, it's Cybill Shepherd. She's attainable for a guy like me now.
Donna: Oh Lois, I'm so glad to see Peter and Cleveland back together again.
Lois: Yeah, me too. Now Peter will have something to do besides flushing the toilet to Foghat's "Slow Ride."
Peter: Let me help you! I'm great at finding stuff. Last night, I found Lois's g-spot!
Lois: No, he didn't!
Peter: I didn't think she was home.
Peter: I had an affair and I think we should talk about it.
Lois: Peter, jamming yourself into a grapefruit is not an affair.