Lois Griffin Quotes
Lois: Peter, what happened to your voice?
Peter: Oh, you know what happened, you sexy minx. My white blood cells attacked the pathogens and created antibodies and then the pathogens were filtered out by my kidneys into my urine and then expelled from my body, you slut.
Lois: Oh Peter, this voice of yours is really something. I can't get enough of it!
Peter: Yeah, it's been pretty great. Y'know, I even won a deep voice contest with Joe yesterday.
Lois: Oh my god, that was amazing. I'm gonna have to crawl to the bathroom.
Peter: Yeah, that was incredible. It was the first time I had an orgasm out the front and back.
Lois: Peter, what happened to your voice? It's so deep!
Peter: I think I'm sick.
Lois: Well, you don't sound like yourself. In fact, you sound kinda hot!
Peter: I just threw up two chicken gyros out the side of my nose, they're on your side of the bed.
Lois: Ohhhh...say that again!
Lois: It's like our privates were shaking hands after a successful business deal in a swamp!
Peter: To me, it just proves that we're truly meant to be together.
Lois: I love you, Peter.
Peter: I love you too, Lois. [beat] By the way, you may have to become a full-on prostitute because our phone bill was $7,000.
Lois: Peter, can't you just use Sock Lois tonight?
Peter: No, Sock Lois doesn't feel authentic to me any more!
Cashier: This is a very nice set, you must be a phone whore.
Lois: You bet your sweet ass I am!
Lois: Now what are we going to do, we have no money!
Peter: Why it's okay, Lois, we have a wonderful family!
Lois: No we don't, there's Meg and Dummy and Big Head.
Peter: Well, I'll be on the lookout for great tits.
Brian: Well actually Lois, that's a species of bird that's been known to frequent domestic birdhouses.
Chris: Mom, Dad, I need to get new sneakers.
Lois: What? I just bought you new sneakers!
Chris: I know, but I need cooler ones!
Peter: Shut up and stop complaining. When I was your age, I didn't even have sneakers! We wore stale hamburger buns.
Lois: No you didn't, Peter.
Peter: Shh! He doesn't know that, he's just a dumb fat loser! Did you see his shoes?
Lois: You know, Peter, since it's Valentine's Day, I was thinking let's do something we've never done before.
Peter: Release the virus?
Lois: Peter, are you ready for your Valentine's gift? [drops trenchcoat, is naked]
Stewie: No, but I'm ready for therapy.