Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

Manny's the worst roommate ever. Everything he finds, he folds.

Luke: Manny and I are going to practice lay-ups.
Manny: They are deceptively hard. A curious mix of dance and strength.
Luke: You're ruining it again.

Claire [after eating Haley's cupcakes]: Do we still have the number for poison control?
Phil: I love you, Claire, I'll always love you!
Luke: My mouth is asleep like at the dentist.

Luke: I dunno, mom always tells me what to do.
Phil: Join the club.

Alex: Luke has ADHD.
Luke: No I don't... what is it?
Alex: I'd tell you, but you'd wander off before I get to the (Luke wanders off) H.

Luke: You had a girlfriend before mom?
Phil: I had two!

Luke: When you stuck your head in, your screamed a little.
Phil: I told you. That was the house settling.

His name is Ponce? He'd get made fun of at my school. They'd probably call him "Pants."

Wouldn't that be so cool to go to a school made out of bottles?

Some are real, right? Like Anne Frank's?

When you walked through a spider web... when we were playing with a Ouija board and the wind blew a door shut...

Luke [about reptile on his head]: This feels so weird, what does it eat?
Jungle Tanya: Oh just little boy brains
Alex: Well, at least Luke has nothing to worry about

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 86 in total
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