My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.

Manny: Oh no, who will pee all over the bathroom floor?
Luke: I was brushing my teeth at the same time...you try to do that.

I had bread, I had cheese, and I had an iron. What was I supposed to do?

We had a fire drill last night. Not the hotel. Just me and Manny.

Manny's the worst roommate ever. Everything he finds, he folds.

Luke: Manny and I are going to practice lay-ups.
Manny: They are deceptively hard. A curious mix of dance and strength.
Luke: You're ruining it again.

Claire [after eating Haley's cupcakes]: Do we still have the number for poison control?
Phil: I love you, Claire, I'll always love you!
Luke: My mouth is asleep like at the dentist.

Luke: I dunno, mom always tells me what to do.
Phil: Join the club.

Alex: Luke has ADHD.
Luke: No I don't... what is it?
Alex: I'd tell you, but you'd wander off before I get to the (Luke wanders off) H.

Luke: You had a girlfriend before mom?
Phil: I had two!

Luke: When you stuck your head in, your screamed a little.
Phil: I told you. That was the house settling.

His name is Ponce? He'd get made fun of at my school. They'd probably call him "Pants."