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Mac: You can be my right hand man. You can be my Peter.
Charlie: Oh... okay I'll be your Peter.
Mac: Dress a little nicer though, 'cause you look like shit.
- Permalink: You can be my right hand man. You can be my Peter. Oh... okay ...
Frank: Hey gang, what's the action?
Dennis: What's going on here?
Frank: Asians love gambling!
Sweet Dee: You know these guys?
Frank: Yeah, from Nam.
Mac: You were in Vietnam?
Dennis: Don't get excited Mac, he was in Vietnam ten years ago on a business trip.
- Permalink: Hey gang, what's the action? What's going on here? Asians lo...
Mac: All right, kids, how you feeling?
Ducks' Team: Good.
Mac: Good? Doesn't sound good. Are you drinking the Red Bull? Come on, chug 'em down!
Ducks' Player: I feel sick.
Mac: That's the vitamins ripping out the inside of your stomach. That's a good thing, trust me.
- Permalink: All right, kids, how you feeling? Good. Good? Doesn't sound ...
Dee: You know these guys?
Frank: Ya, from 'Nam.
Mac: You were in Vietnam?
Dennis: Don't get excited Mac, he was in Vietnam 10 years ago on business trip.
Frank: Beautiful country.
- Permalink: You know these guys? Ya, from 'Nam. You were in Vietnam? D...
Charlie: What's that made out of?
Dennis: It's a board, so it's, you know, made out of wood.
Mac: It's like particleboard.
Charlie: That's like harder than wood, dude.
Mac: It's actually softer than wood.
- Permalink: What's that made out of? It's a board, so it's, you know, made...
Mac: Dennis' mom tried to have sex with me!
Mac: Yeah man, she got naked... she came on to me. I mean, that woman is straight crazy, but I think I wanna bang her, man. I know I shouldn't do it...
Charlie: I think you should do it!
Charlie: Look, an opportunity like this only comes around once in a lifetime right?
Charlie: And so you'd be a fool to let it slip through your fingers.
Mac: Yeah! That's what I'm thinking! But... it's Dennis' and Dee's Mom...
Charlie: Well that means that no one ever ever is going to find out.
Mac: That doesn't make any sense...
Charlie: It doesn't have to make sense!
Mac: You're right! I'm gonna do it!
- Permalink: Dennis' mom tried to have sex with me! Interesting... Yeah m...
Mac: You guys can't get welfare.
Dee: Uh, yeah, we can.
Mac: No, you can't. They don't give it to any jackass that walks in here. It's reserved for people who need it, okay?
Charlie: That's true...
Mac: Drug addicts. Mentally disabled. People with dependents, that sort of thing...
- Permalink: You guys can't get welfare. Uh, yeah, we can. No, you can't....
Frank: Charlie, you've got a lot of balls, stealing my money. This shows leadership, I am promoting you to management.
Charlie: That's why I did it.
Mac: That's why I did it too, Frank! I stole lots of your money, what do I get?
Frank: You get dick, because you are a follower and a thief.
Sweet Dee: How come Charlie...? It's not fair...
Dennis: Why would you do this to us, dad?
Frank: Because you're crackheads, children.
- Permalink: Charlie, you've got a lot of balls, stealing my money. This show...
Charlie: Let's throw a flaming bag of poop in the window!
Mac: What? Why?
Charlie: They stamp it out, and they get poop all over their shoes!
Mac: What in the hell is that going to accomplish?
Charlie: Poop on their shoes. Their shoes, dude!
- Permalink: Let's throw a flaming bag of poop in the window! What? Why? ...
Dennis: This Jew's in for a ton of work.
Mac and Charlie: WHOA!
Dennis: Whoa, what?
Mac: Come on, man! You can't say things like that!
Dennis: I don't know what I said. What'd I say?
Charlie: Uh, you dropped a hard "J" on us.
- Permalink: This Jew's in for a ton of work. WHOA! Whoa, what? Come on...
Dennis: That is a racial slur, Charlie.
Mac: Calling somebody a Jew who is a Jew is not a racial slur.
- Permalink: That is a racial slur, Charlie. Calling somebody a Jew who is ...
Dennis: Where from?
Frenkel: Israel. It just got to be too dangerous. I mean, you know with everything that's happening.
Dennis: Well, that's a tough situation you got over there.
Charlie: Oh yeah, you got that whole tsunami and the...
Mac: No, not that...
Charlie: Well, the superdome thing.
Mac: No, there's no superdome...
Charlie: Well it's one of those places over there.
Mac: It's a different country, Charlie so why don't...
Charlie: Well I'm just trying to help the guy out.
Mac: Why don't you just shut up!
- Permalink: Where from? Israel. It just got to be too dangerous. I mean, y...