The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Marge Simpson Quotes
Marge: When I got home I realized who I should have gone to the prom with.
Homer: Who? (Realizing) Oh.
Marge: My prom date.
Homer: Marge, pour vous.
Marge: Why so glum?
Homer: I've got a problem. As soon as you stop this car, I'm gonna hug you, and kiss you, and then I'll never be able to let you go! (Fade back to the present) And I never have...
Marge: I don't think the guns are a good idea!
Homer: Marge! We're responsible adults a--
(Gun shot)
Moe: Whoops!
Homer: And if a group of responsible adults can't handle firearms in a responsible way--
(Gun shot)
Captain McCallister: Sorry!
(gun shot)
Principal Skinner: Uh oh!
(Gun shot)
Moe: Me again...
(Gun shot)
Bart: Sorry.
Marge: Why do you have to eat have to eat peanuts in the shower?
Homer: It gives me the fresh circus feeling in the morning.
Marge: Homer, has the weight loss tape reduced your appetite?
Homer: Ah, lamentably no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satieties.
Homer: Ooh, there's a good one!
Marge: That spot says compact only!
Homer: Marge, that's just the suggestion car size...easy...easy... how am I doing on the right?
Lisa: Um, we're getting a lot of sparks over here, dad!
Homer: Uh huh, easy...easy...mmm perfect, alright everybody out the window!
Studio Owner: Ah, this studio has a lot of history, uh.. Buddy Holly stood on this spot in 1958 and said 'There is no way in hell that I'm going to record in this dump'
Homer: I'm sure Lurleen will love it!
Marge: Homer, how much did you just give that man!
Homer: Calm down Marge, it's just our life savings!
Marge: Lisa, Bart, what did you two learn in Sunday school today?
Lisa: The answers to deep theological questions.
Bart: Yeah. Among other things, apes can't get into Heaven.
Homer: What? Those cute little monkeys? That's terrible. Who told you that?
Bart: Our teacher.
Homer: I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what about those really smart ones who live among us, who roller-skate and smoke cigars?
Marge: You know, your father wanted to be a policeman for a little while, but they said he was too heavy.
Homer: No, the Army said I was too heavy. The police said I was too dumb.
Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.
Marge: Are you going to eat it?
Homer: (short silence) ...Yes.
Marge: A branch must have knocked out the power lines.
Bart: That's fine, I'll see what's on TV.
Marge: That runs on electricity, also.
Bart: Alright, I'll watch a DVD, there's no way that runs on electricity.... Really, does Obama know about this?
Homer: Is there any room in that bed for a dag-burn fool?
Marge: Always has been.
Homer: The motto of the Simpsons is: "quit while you're ahead."
Marge: I made it into a sampler.
