The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Marge Simpson Quotes
Gladys: Now let's get down to business. (Voice changes to Lionel Hutz) To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $50,000.
Marge: MR. HUTZ!
Hutz: You'd be surprised how often that works, you really would!
Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.
Marge: Are you going to eat it?
Homer: (short silence) ...Yes.
Studio Owner: Ah, this studio has a lot of history, uh.. Buddy Holly stood on this spot in 1958 and said 'There is no way in hell that I'm going to record in this dump'
Homer: I'm sure Lurleen will love it!
Marge: Homer, how much did you just give that man!
Homer: Calm down Marge, it's just our life savings!
Homer: Ooh, where did I lose 'em? I'll never wiggle my bare butt in public again.
Lisa: I'd like to believe that this time. I really would.
Marge: Bart, run down to the store and get a big bag of ice for your father.
Bart: Yes'm. (to Homer) Dad, I know you're discouraged, but please don't deny the world your fat can.
Homer: Don't worry, boy. He'll be ready for your Aunt Selma's birthday.
Lisa: I knew it.
Lisa: And any time I hear the wind blow, it will whisper the name: Edna.
Marge: Oh, that's very good, Lisa!
Homer: P.S. I am gay.
Marge: You know, your father wanted to be a policeman for a little while, but they said he was too heavy.
Homer: No, the Army said I was too heavy. The police said I was too dumb.
Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
Marge: I need to unwind.
Homer: I know you do, Marge, but come on, you know what our vacations are like. Those three monsters in the back seat: "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" And let's face it; I'm no day at the beach either: "Marge, can I have another sandwich? Marge, can I have another sandwich?"
Homer: The motto of the Simpsons is: "quit while you're ahead."
Marge: I made it into a sampler.
Marge: Homer, you don't even know why you're apologizing.
Homer: Yes, I do. Because I'm hungry, my clothes are smelly, and I'm tired.
Marge: I'm worried about Mrs Krabappel
Bart: No worries, I heard in the old four square court she was doing great
Lisa: No one even plays four square anymore, they just gossip
Marge: Question 2: "Who is your son's hero?"
Homer: Steve McQueen.
Marge: That's your hero! "Name another dad you talk to about parenting."
Homer: Next
Marge: "What are your son's hobbies?"
Homer: Well, he's always chewing on the phone cord.
Marge: He hasn't done that since he was two!
Homer: Then he has no hobbies!
