The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Marge Simpson Quotes
(Homer brings home Santa's Little Helper.)
Marge: Oh, this is the best gift of all, Homer!
Homer: It is?
Marge: Yes. Something to share our love and frighten prowlers.
Lisa: What's his name?
Homer: Number 8--Uh, I mean Santa's Little Helper.
(At the breakfast table.)
Marge: Bart, this is a big day for you. Why don't you eat something a little more nutritious?
Homer: Nonsense, Marge. Frosted Krusty Flakes are what got him where he is today.
(Homer reads the cereal box.)
Homer: It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Lisa, maybe you should try some of this.
Marge: Homer!
Homer: I'm just saying why not have two geniuses in the family? Sort of a spare in case Bart's brain blows up.
(Homer and Marge walk out of the kitchen.)
Lisa: I don't care what that stupid test says, Bart. You're a dimwit.
Bart: Maybe so, but from now on this dimwit is on easy street.
Marge: Bart, I feel so bad for going so many years without, mmm, hmm--What's that word where you encourage something to grow?
Bart and Homer: (Both mumble "I don't know," in unison.)
Lisa: Nurturing.
Marge: Nurturing your brilliant brain, so I got tickets to the opera tonight. Hurry up. Get dressed. It starts at 8:00.
Bart: Oh, Mom. Not tonight!
Homer: Come on, Bart, your mother's only trying to help, so go ahead and enjoy the show.
Marge: Homer, you're going too.
Homer: But I'm not a genius. Why should I suffer?
There, there, Homer. You'll find a job. You've caused plenty of industrial accidents, and you've always bounced back.
Homer: To save this family, we're going to have to make the supreme sacrifice.
Lisa: No, Dad. Please don't pawn the TV!
Bart: Aw, come on, Dad, anything but that!
Marge: Homer, couldn't we pawn my engagement ring instead?
Homer: Now, I appreciate that honey, but we need $150 here.
Pawn Shop Owner: Afternoon, Simpson. So, what can I do for ya?
Homer: Would you pay $150 for this lovely Motorola?
Pawn Shop Owner: Is it cable ready?
Homer: Ready as she'll ever be.
Pawn Shop Owner: Mister, you got yourself a deal.
Homer: Are you sure that's enough? You know how the boss loves your delicious gelatin desserts!
Marge: Oh, Homer, Mr. Burns just said he liked it...once.
Homer: Marge, that's the only time he's ever spoken to me without using the word "bonehead."
Marge: This bully friend of yours, is he a little on the chunky side?
Bart: Yeah, he's pretty chunkified, all right.
Marge: Mm-hmm. And I'll bet he doesn't do well in his studies, either.
Bart: No, he's pretty dumb. He's in all the same special classes I am.
Marge: That's why he lashes out at the world.
Homer: Oh, Marge.
Marge: So tomorrow, instead of bickering with this boy, talk to him. You'll be surprised how far a little understanding will go.
Homer: Well, thank you very much, Mrs. Maharishi Gandhi.
(Homer takes Bart by the hand.)
Homer: Let's go, boy.
Homer: Where the hell are my keys? Who stole my keys? Come on, I'm late for work! (Lifts Maggie and looks underneath)
Marge: Oh Homer, you'd lose your head if it weren't securely fastened to your neck.
Bart: Did you check the den?
Homer: The den! Great idea!
(Homer heads into the den with Bart following him and Homer begins to pull couch apart.)
Bart: Warm. No, cold. Colder. Ice cold.
Homer: You know where my keys are?
Bart: No, I'm talking about your breakfast.
Homer: So, why are you still awake?
Marge: Well, I'm still trying to figure out what's bothering Lisa. I don't know. Bart's such a handful, and Maggie needs attention. But all the while, our little Lisa is becoming a young woman.
Homer: Oh, so that's it. This is some kind of underwear thing.
Marge [to Bart, Homer and Lisa]: I'm sorry, everybody, but I've only got two cupcakes for the three of you.
Bart: Well, mom, one of us has scarfed down more than enough cupcakes over the past three decades to keep--
Homer: Bart!
Marge: Lisa! Get away from that jazz man!
Lisa: But, mom! Can't I just stay a little longer?
Marge: Come on. Come on. We're worried about you. (to Bleeding Gums Murphy) Nothing personal. I just fear the unfamiliar.
Marge: I'm worried about Mrs Krabappel
Bart: No worries, I heard in the old four square court she was doing great
Lisa: No one even plays four square anymore, they just gossip
