Lily: I'm pregnant with baby number five.
Ted: But baby number four isn't out yet!
Marshall: I'm just that good!

Ted: Every three years we sit down and Tril it up, agreed?
Marshall: A-greedo.

Baby you're like twenty slutty chicks rolled into one.

Lily: For Ted's sake I hate to say this but, pay up.
Marshall: Not yet.

Marshall: I gotta say that making money off this bet just makes me feel...
Lily: More alive than you've felt in years?
Marshall: Yes!
Lily: New hobby!
Marshall: We need a checks box, some glitter and some glue!

Not like this Lily, not like this.

Lily: It's your turn, I was on point for six straight hours yesterday!
Marshall: Two of those hours were a nap and you know it!
Lily: Let's go to the board!

Goudas up Ted, don't sleep on the gouda!

Marshall: Come on lay some of that classic Scherbatsky mean son of a bitch on me. Treat me like I'm a girl scout trying to sell you cookies.
Robin: Four dollars a box and you're out of thin mints?! You green little...I don't do that!

Kevin: Hey guys where are Marshall and Lily?
Robin: Something terrible happened.
Kevin: Are they ok? Are they in the hospital?
Barney: No, somewhere much, much worse...
Marshall: Long Island!

OK after Thanksgiving I'm cutting out carbs.

Hey dude fork over those nachos...

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted