You know what? Screw it! Who says two bros can't rock a birthing class?

Marshall: What's that little guy up there?
Dr. Sonya: Oh you poor girl.

It's fascinating how profoundly little I know about vaginas.

Show us the onion volcano, the fried rice beating heart, the shrimp in the pocket.

Let the dinnertainment begin!

Bow down to Beercules!

I don't want to be choosing between two girls. I want to be a complete head over heels idiot for one!

Ted

This was bound to happen eventually. I've been trying so hard to suppress like my carefree idiot side that it just rebelled and came out swingin'.

Whoa did someone say generous endowment? I'm Marshall Eriksen, but you can call me, Beercules!

Lily: Wait a minute. You're going to date two girls at once? Don't you think you should just choose one before it gets serious?
Ted: Define serious.
Lily: Well that's complicated. I guess you have to weigh expectations, emotional investments...
Marshall: Third base, serious at third base.

I did it again!

Marshall: There's babies everywhere. It's like a minefield of cuteness. Look at this little bastard.
Lily: This sonofabitch has knee dimples! Let's go tell everyone I'm pregnant!

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted