How I Met Your Mother

Marshall Eriksen Quotes (Page 8)

Lily: I could totally let you down. Has that thought not occurred to you?
Marshall: Not even for one second. Not having a baby would suck, but the idea of you letting me down, that's impossible. That would be like aliens landing. That's a bad example.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Why don't you have a baby with your dad?
Marshall: OK Lilly, why don't you have a baby with your butt?
Lily: What?
Marshall: I can't think straight! Why did you have to wear that shirt?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: So he gets no notice, he just walks into his boss's office and says to his boss, "I just had a grandson and I'm going to be out for three months."
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: Whoa, wait. A big package just arrived.
Marshall: Yeah it did!
Lily: No it's a real package, from your dad.
Marshall: Well that's a little weird, but yeah it is!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Let's go through the checklist...candles?
Lily: Check.
Marshall: Music to set the mood?
Lily: Check.
Marshall: Music for when we're actually doing it?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted (sipping a beer): This is what church has been missing. Dude, you fixed Church!
Marshall: You're welcome, God.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Beer be with you...
Ted: And also with you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: I know what's bothering you. The cabbie just didn't look enough like Barney.
Marshall: Well that's just not true.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Marshall: But you were the fifth doppelganger! How can you be ... you? I called you, we had a whole conversation, Barney, what happened?
Barney: Ah, yes. I know what happened. People at work have this very strange expectation that I, well, work. I know, I know. So to make my colleagues think I'm busting my hump while I'm really out humping busty chicks, I decided to record a special recording.
Marshall: How can it be a recording, you called me Big Chief, my special workplace nickname?
Barney: Oh, buddy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Ted, I love you buddy, but there is no way you can pull off blonde.
Lily: Seriously, Ted, don't do it.
Ted: I'm going blonde!
Lily: Awwww.
Marshall: That is NOT the outcome we were hoping for.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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