Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS

I'm the real lucky guy because I married my dad.

Barney: Come on, Barney Stinson always turns it around.
Marshall: How?
Barney: Simple, I

We're gonna need a bigger booth.

Lily Pad? We're having a boy!

Lily: Yellow like the son.
Marshall: Or daughter, ooh pun snuggle.

Marshall: Where are we going?
Garrison Cootes: War son, we're going to war.

You know what? Screw it! Who says two bros can't rock a birthing class?

Marshall: What's that little guy up there?
Dr. Sonya: Oh you poor girl.

It's fascinating how profoundly little I know about vaginas.

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