South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralFavorite Mayor McDaniels Quotes
Randy: Mayor! I have it. I found out why people spontaneously combust.
Mayor: [over the phone] Why?
Randy: It's too complicated to explain over the phone.
[Cut to clipboard that says:]
Boyfriend == > Death
Girlfriend == > Death
Mayor McDaniels: First question: What color is blue?
(enthusiastically) An animated Christmas card! Kids, that just might be the dumbest idea I've ever heard, ever!
Mayor McDaniels: Kathie Lee Gifford loves kids.
Mayor's assistant: When they're in a sweatshop that is!
Assistant Johnson: Mayor, the geologist is here to see you.
Mayor McDaniels: My geologist? Now? Tell him that the infection is fine and that I don't need another check up.
Johnson: No, mayor, that's a gynecologist. A geologist studies the Earth.
Mayor McDaniels: Don't you think I know that? How dare you insult my intellect! I went to Princeton for God's sake! You get out of my office!
Johnson: I'm not in your office, mayor. I'm talking to you through a speaker.
Mayor McDaniels: Just send in the geometrist!
Johnson: Geologist.
Mayor McDaniels: You are fired, buddy!
Johnson: Thank you, mayor. It's been great working for you.
Randy Marsh: I think I'm getting that stomach flu you gave me.
Mr. Garrison: It's that little Kenny bastard that gave it to me.
(the mayor exits the porta-potty)
Randy: Hey, mayor. Were you making gravy in there?
Mayor: I just gave birth to a brown baby boy.
Mayor's Aide: Mayor! Barbra Streisand's attacking the town!
Mayor: I heard! Call the National Guard! (to herself) We'll get you, you bitch! And to think, I actually watched your HBO special!
Mayor McDaniels: Well, how's the reading coming along?
Officer Barbrady: (wringing his hands) Oooh, pretty good.
Mayor McDaniels: Barbrady, we really need you to speed this up. The Chickenf(beep)ker struck again last night.
Kyle: Oh no!
Officer Barbrady: Ah mayor, please, when we're around children we prefer to call him the Chickenlover.
