Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFavorite Meg Griffin Quotes
Lois: So Meg, did any of the neighbors see Jeff come over?
Meg: Mom! Come one Jeff, let's go in other room.
Lois: Now Meg, no need to get so testes, uh testy. Nuts, I mean crap!
Lois: So Meg, any luck in finding another job?
Meg: No, hardly anybody is hiring right now. The only job I could find was for a phone sex line and I sucked at it.
(cuts to living room, Meg is on the couch talking on the phone)
Meg: What am I wearing? Um, a hat, and glasses. What kind of underwear? Um, I don't know, big underwear I guess. I'm sorry, what? Oh, what would I do to you? Well, um, I guess maybe we'd get pizza, and we could watch House?
(Cuts to Peter upstairs, also on the phone)
Peter: Alright, I am totally flaccid, but thank you anyway ma'am, I appreciate your time. (hangs up the phone)
Lois: If you kids don't knock it off, we're not goin' to McDonald's after church.
Meg and Chris: MOM!
Peter: Don't worry. We're goin'. B-B-But you don't get the Supersize.
Chris: OH!
Peter: Okay, you can Supersize. But no apple pie!
Meg: Oh, come on!
Peter: Okay, you get an apple pie, but you can't blow on it
Lois: So how was work today, Meg?
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Lois: Peter, you lost your job because of the superstore. You shouldn't blame Meg.
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Lois: And you can stop making that fart sound every time someone says 'Meg.'
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Brian: So how was your day exploiting the town's resources, Meg?
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Chris: (laughs) Meg!
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Chris: Meg!
Peter: (blows raspberry)
Chris: Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!
Peter: (blows raspberries)
Chris: (whispers) Meg!
Peter: (blows silent raspberry)
Meg: I'm not gonna sit here and take this! I'm the only one in this family that has a job!
Peter: (whispers something in Brian's ear)
Brian: (chuckles) Yeah, like she'd get paid for that.
Meg: (to Brian) What did he just say to you?!
Brian: Nothing. It's like-- There was-- Forget it. It's nothing, Meg.
Peter: (blows raspberry)
(Meg tells Brian about her backup for the dance and how he already had plans)(scene cuts to Meg at the front of Jimmy's door)Meg: Hi Jimmy, umm I heard you didn't have a date to the dance and I was wondering if you would like to go with me..Jimmy: Oh....uhhh...I...uhh....h-hang on..(runs inside and closes the door)(two gun shots are heard firing in the house)Jimmy: (reopening door, crying) I'd love to go Meg, but.. (sniffs) .. I have to go to my little brother's funeral that night..
Lois: I'm gonna become a model!
Peter: Hey that's fantastic Lois, and I'll pleasure myself to your photos.
Chris: Me too!
Meg: Me Too!
Peter: Oh God Meg, that's SICK! That's your mother!
Meg: I'm just trying to fit in.
Peter: Get out, get out of this house!
Meg [to Chris]: Yea Griffin! Your mom's gross and nasty!
Chris to Meg: Yea suck it! You're a whore daughter!
Meg: Hey Kent, it's Meg. From English class?
Kent: Uh...
Meg: And math class? And bio? And the Facebook campaign to get me to kill myself?
Kent: Oh, Meg! Hey, what's up?
Meg: That's it, I want those cameras off!
Chris: Fourth wall, You're breaking the fourth wall!
Chris: My dad is smarter than your dad.
Meg: We have the same dad, idiot!
Chris: Yeah, but mine's smarter!
Meg: I can only imaging what it was like for them on that very first Christmas.
Brian: Yeah, it was probably very moving. And fictional.
Stewie: Jesus lived with us for like a week, what else do you need?
Meg: I totally hit it off with this great guy on the internet and we're finally gonna meet!
Stewie: Okay, remember to ask questions about him. Seem interested. Listen. Giggle. Swallow.
