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Peter: Meg, you're home late.
Meg: I stayed after school to try out for cheerleading.
Peter: Well, don't keep me in suspense. How'd you do?
Meg: I'll give you a hint. I S-U-C-K-E-D! Sucked! Sucked!
Peter: Yay! Oh, I mean, sorry, honey
- Permalink: Meg, you're home late. I stayed after school to try out for ch...
Meg: Daddy, you must think I'm the worst daughter ever.
Peter: Oh no you're not honey. What about that fat girl from the Judds?
- Permalink: Daddy, you must think I'm the worst daughter ever. Oh no you'r...
Peter: Let's play a game called Takin' the fall for Daddy. If you win, I'll buy you a convertible when you get your license.
Meg: Really? Oh Daddy, now I love you again.
Peter: Oh, you're gonna make some Jewish guy a great wife
- Permalink: Let's play a game called Takin' the fall for Daddy. If you win, ...
Meg: Dad, if I don't get my driver's license, I'll never have any boyfriends, I'll never get married and I'll have to adopt a kid like Rosie O'Donnell.
Peter: Meg ... are you implying that Rosie O'Donnell can't drive?
- Permalink: Dad, if I don't get my driver's license, I'll never have any boy...
Meg: Mom, can I turn the heat up?
Lois: Don't touch the thermostat, Meg. Your father gets upset.
Meg: Come on. This thing goes up to 90.
[Meg adjusts it a little, and Peter suddenly comes into the room]
Peter: Who touched the thermostat?
Meg: God, how does he always know?
Peter: Brain implant, Meg. Every father's got one. Tells you when the kids mess with the dial.
Guy: My thing went off! Your thermostat okay?
- Permalink: Mom, can I turn the heat up? Don't touch the thermostat, Meg. ...