Meg: That's it, I want those cameras off!
Chris: Fourth wall, You're breaking the fourth wall!

• Permalink: That's it, I want those cameras off! Fourth wall, You're break...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Lois: Meg, Could you please change Stewie for me?
Meg: Fine. But if a boy calls, please don't tell them I'm wrist deep in poopy

• Permalink: Meg, Could you please change Stewie for me? Fine. But if a boy...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Meg: I don't get it, mom, if you're so mad at dad for wrecking your show, why did you come to opening night?
Lois: I came because I love the theater. I mean, if I just came here to enjoy watching your father be humiliated when this asinine spectacle of his is ridiculed by everyone in town, what kind of person would I be?
Chris: A bitch

• Permalink: I don't get it, mom, if you're so mad at dad for wrecking your s...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Peter: Mr. Weed said whoever comes up with the best idea for the big christmas toy gets a huge bonus!
Chris: Why don't you invent the frisbee, dad? That's an awesome toy!
Meg: The frisbee's already been invented.
Chris: Then how come I've never heard of it?

• Permalink: Mr. Weed said whoever comes up with the best idea for the big ch...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Peter: Look I've had a good life and you can always be proud of your father in all of his accomplishments.
Meg: What accomplishments?
Peter: Go to your room

• Permalink: Look I've had a good life and you can always be proud of your fa...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Meg: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
Death: Well, that would just leave England

• Permalink: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me. Well, t...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Lois: I'm so worried about your father.
Chris: You mean because he's a borderline alcoholic?
Lois: No. Mommy's made peace with that.
Chris: Oh, cause he's got a lump on his booby!
Lois: Chris, that's a terrible word! "Booby."
Meg: Mom, Debbie Miller's dad had a lump on his breast, and he turned out okay.
Lois: Really? Who's Debbie Miller?
Meg: A girl I just made up

• Permalink: I'm so worried about your father. You mean because he's a bord...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Old Lady: What a precious little boy.
Meg: That's my ..uh, uh.. son.
Old Lady: Your son? But you're just a baby yourself. Henry, give the little skank a nice tip

• Permalink: What a precious little boy. That's my ..uh, uh.. son. Your s...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Peter [about a handbag]: Oh I love you sweety. What are they like 10 bucks?
Meg: More like eleven...hundred.
Peter: Heh, you wished I loved you that much

• Permalink: Oh I love you sweety. What are they like 10 bucks? More like e...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Meg: There's no factory?
Stewie: Ha! Very good, fat man! We follow the Pied Piper of Hamsteak to the Gates of Oblivion, and look what it's brought us! We're finished! We're done! Game over, man! Game over!

• Permalink: There's no factory? Ha! Very good, fat man! We follow the Pied...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Meg: There is no way that I'm sleeping in Chris' room this weekend; it smells like old milk in there!
Chris: Hey, if I could find it, I'd clean it up!

• Permalink: There is no way that I'm sleeping in Chris' room this weekend; i...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Meg: Chris, you're hogging up all the fans.
Chris: Well, you're hogging up all the... ugly!

• Permalink: Chris, you're hogging up all the fans. Well, you're hogging up...
• Added: August 25, 2009