Steve Holt: Maybe we should work together. I mean, we don't even know the recipe.
George Michael: Oh, there's no recipe. You just freeze the bananas, and then stick it in the -- (Michael stops him)
Steve Holt: Stick it in the what? Stick it in the WHAT?

George Michael: Is that a screenplay? Warden Gentles' screenplay?
Maeby: That's what you're going to tell me.

Lindsay: Did it ever occur to you that maybe Warden Gentiles likes her?
Michael: Likes her what?
Lindsay: No, I mean, likes her. Like, is attracted to her.
Michael: Who's the "her" in that sentence?
Lindsay: Mom. Warden Gentiles likes Mom.
Michael: Her?

Michael: The whole thing is a scam. Mom was just using that warden to try to get Dad out. She's not trying to seduce him at all.
Lindsay: Oh, no, she is. She's spending the night with him. She just called to ask me to bring her a tube of vag ... table paste.

Michael: Mom wants to sleep with the warden.
Gob: What? Oh, God!
Lindsay: Great.
Michael: Great? The man is old enough to be her contemporary, Lindsay.

Michael: You're planning an escape.
George Sr.: How dare you? I oughta shave your head and make you sit under that camera all night, mister.

The new facility's pretty nice. It's like school ... but air-conditioned.

George Michael

Lucille: I'm trying to seduce him.
Michael: Who's the "I" in that sentence?
Lucille: Me.
Michael: You?
Narrator: Her.

Tobias: Oh, come on. Don't leave your Uncle T-Bag hanging!
George Michael: Please don't call yourself that.

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