Arrested Development

Michael Quotes (Page 8)

Michael: I was thinking you and I should maybe go play a little catch. You know, maybe go for a run, do some guy stuff.
George Michael: But we're not good at that stuff.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Tobias: She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen.
Michael: Yeah, I think you just did.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: (about Steve Holt) Your son?
Gob: According to him.
Michael: And a DNA test.
Gob: I heard the jury's still out on science.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I'm not going to lie to your son.
Gob: Come on! I lie to yours all the time.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Talking before a beauty pageant)
Ann: I could sing to the camel!
Tobias: Yes, we can Google some disco songs with the word 'hump' in them.
Ann: Cute.
George Michael: No, that sounds a bit racy.
Tobias: Okay, he may be afraid of sex but you're not going to win without it.
George Michael: No, I'm not afraid of sex.
Tobias: Oh, good. Have sex with this girl right now. Do it. Go. Get in there, have some sex with her right now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: I'm gonna be busy this weekend being a Judge Pageant.
Narrator: Gob has been a Judge Pageant for years.
Gob: Can you believe what it does to your sex life?
Michael: I don't wanna hear it.
Gob: I don't wanna say it. First place, chick's hot, but has an attitude: doesn't date magicians. Second place, is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist. But third of all, although a little bit plain, her super low self-esteem. So I step in and lay her 'crown' upon my sweet 'head'.
Michael: Have I missed this euphemism?
 • Rating: Unrated

Rita: You are really quite a man, Michael.
Michael: You really think so?
Rita: Oh, yes. You are a complete and utter *bleep*. (kisses Michael and then leaves)
Narrator: I can't believe we had to bleep that. It would've been such a nice moment.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Maeby: Don't you see? I drugged him not to go all the way with him.
George Michael: Well, I think even the anti-drug people are going to be okay with that.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: It's been a week, nothing's happened.
Larry, the Surrogate: Yeah, but you're not the one stuck under house arrest like a sitting duck.
Michael: Oh yeah, that's my father. That's why we're having the meeting here, so he couldn't interfere.
Larry, the Surrogate: Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw.
Michael: I'm sorry, have we met?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development.
Narrator: Hey, that's the name of the show.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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