Miranda Hobbes Quotes
Carrie: Do you know that there are no avaliable men out there?
Miranda: We're at my date's wake...so yes.
(to Carrie over the phone) I can't believe I'm eating a frozen dinner. I'm such a cliche.
Miranda: This is my first wake.
Carrie: Don't expect a goody bag.
Carrie: What do I know about men? All I have is a bunch of failed relationships..
Miranda: And one affair.
Carrie: You coming in for a landing there sister?
Miranda: Sorry, cute guy. I thought he was checking me out for a second.
(the girls turn to look)
Samantha: His a cutie alright.
Carrie: Yes, definitely looking.
Miranda: His looking at you guys looking at him like I asked you not to.
Carrie: Take your tray over there.
Charlotte: What? (excited)
Miranda: No!
Samantha: Absolutely! Why not?
Miranda: Because, this isn't PS 147, we're adults now, she's married for Christ sake. We have to at least pretend to know better.
Miranda: I'm sorry are your braces blue?
Girl: No, their sapphire. Oh, my God, look you have the old fashioned kind. I didn't even know they made those anymore.
Miranda: This is what happens to tongue thrusters? Am I hideous? Carrie: No. Hey, no, no, they don't look so bad.
Miranda: Really?
Carrie: That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Samantha: Are you in pain? I'm in pain just looking at you.
Miranda: I've been trying to diagnosis myself on the Internet....
Charlotte: You can do that?
Miranda: Sure, Just type in your symptoms, hit enter, and wait for the word cancer to appear on the screen. Anyway, it turns out I'm a tongue thruster.
Samantha: Now, see, if you were a man that would be a good thing.
Samantha: Are you in pain? I'm in pain just looking at you.
Miranda: I'm a 34-year-old woman with braces and I'm on a liquid diet. Pain doesn't begin to cover it.
Her braces are sapphire. I'm a thirty-four year old nerd.
Carrie: I got mugged. She took everything I got.
Samantha: It's called the Brazilian wax.
Miranda: Why didn't you tell her to stop?
Carrie: I tried. I feel like one of those freaking hairless dogs.
Samantha: It's a ascetic thing, everyone goes bare out here.
Miranda: Of course, they do. LA men are too lazy to go searching for anything.
Charlotte: My marriage is a fake fendi.
Miranda: Excuse me?
Charlotte: Trey and I look like the perfect couple from the outside but on the inside its all fake, it's not special. He can't even get it up.
Samantha: What?
Charlotte: We've never had sex...
Miranda: But, you've been married for...
Charlotte: Over a month.
Samantha: You've never had sex?
Carrie: It's not a physical thing, it's emotional.
Miranda: You knew about this?
Carrie: She told me at the wedding.
