Mitchell: This morning, Cam, fully dressed....
Jay: Thank god it's one of those stories.

OK, every once in a while you say that thing about the twig, and I need you to know, that bothers me.

Cam: Thanks for staying home with me.
Mitchell: Well, you know, in sickness and in health, right?
Cam: You're still blinkin' sweetie.

Mitchell: You do love pink.
Cam: No, pink loves me.

It happens to be mother's day. Not martyr's day.

Gloria: Lily! When something awful happens, you're going to be mine!
Mitchell: It really is an "if" situation...
Gloria: All mine!

Mitchell: How are you doing?
Cameron: Oh not good. I'm just glad my clown training prepared me to take a fall like that.
Mitchell: In terms of talking about it, are we looking at weeks? Months?
Cameron: Do not minimize it, oh he who I had to rush to the emergency room when he fell out of his clogs.

Cameron: I love Jay, but I don't know about him raising a child.
Mitchell: He raised me.
Cameron: Well now you've put me in an awkward position.

Mitchell: Did we come at a bad time?
Claire: Come back in five years and seven months when they're all gone!

Cam: Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cam: You do it all the time and you know what I end up with? Wet Dreams. I heard it as soon as I said it; just leave it alone.

Kevin is biting his nails again and Rueben hasn't had a bowel movement in a week. Don't laugh. That's how Elvis died.

Manny

Tell Bob Fussy he's overdoing it and you want to go back to the old stuff.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're like a mob wife. You complain about what I do, but have no problem wearing the fur that fell off the back of the truck.

Mitchell