Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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I was wrong, every kid wants a clown for a dad.

Mitchell: I guess you don't respect party themes.
Cam: You did NOT just say that.

You're so gay you can't even think of real girls names.

This could be my 'going bald' scare all over again.

I once saw a picture of myself at a friend's poetry slam, and all you could see were the whites of my eyes.

Cam: She's already prone to flashbacks, if you know what I mean.
Mitchell: You know she didn't fight in Vietnam, right?

You did one production of Godspell in a barn. You're barn folk!

Mitchell: She wants us to buy Lily a Blackberry.
Cam: She doesn't have the dexterity for that!

Leave it to the gays to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.

Cam: I hate your beard.
Mitchell: Wow, you had that bullet in the chamber.

Where was all this conscience when I got us into the first-class lounge in the airport and you chewed Angela Lansbury's ear off?

You're like a mob wife. You complain about what I do, but have no problem wearing the fur that fell off the back of the truck.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 170 in total