Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Mitchell: How are you doing?
Cameron: Oh not good. I'm just glad my clown training prepared me to take a fall like that.
Mitchell: In terms of talking about it, are we looking at weeks? Months?
Cameron: Do not minimize it, oh he who I had to rush to the emergency room when he fell out of his clogs.

Cameron: I love Jay, but I don't know about him raising a child.
Mitchell: He raised me.
Cameron: Well now you've put me in an awkward position.

Mitchell: Did we come at a bad time?
Claire: Come back in five years and seven months when they're all gone!

Cam: Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cam: You do it all the time and you know what I end up with? Wet Dreams. I heard it as soon as I said it; just leave it alone.

Kevin is biting his nails again and Rueben hasn't had a bowel movement in a week. Don't laugh. That's how Elvis died.

Manny

Tell Bob Fussy he's overdoing it and you want to go back to the old stuff.

Mitchell: When I was 12-years-old my father walked into my bedroom and caught me doing the most embarrassing thing that a boy can do: dancing to Madonna's 'Lucky Star.'

Mitchell: Who signed an agreement for a sixteen year health club membership?
Cameron: You have to spend money to save money.

What did Oprah do now

Displaying quotes 82 - 90 of 152 in total