Mitchell: Oh my God, there's Sandy.
Cam: Sandra Bullock?
Mitchell: Yeah we're such good friends, I just call her Sandy.

A month after the most devastating twister to ever hit Cam's hometown, I throw a party based on gay cinema's most famous tornado.

Okay birthday boy, what's it gonna be, rom-com or horror? Or we could do both and watch Maid in Manhattan.

Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.

And what are we supposed to tell the baby? Say hi to your Aunt Mommy!

Cam: It's kind of like a first date.
Mitchell: Actually it's the opposite of the first date. You don't want to have sex, but you do want a baby.

Claire is like the son my dad always wanted. He just wanted someone to throw a ball in the backyard, I did once but he did not attend.

I'm so glad I spoke to Alex because she agreed with every single thing that I was saying...which made me realize that I was acting like a 14-year-old girl.

Cameron: How would she know I'm gay?
Mitchell: Maybe by the way you ordered a drink a doodle do.

Cameron: Wham Bam thank you Cam.
Mitchell: Seriously you got her number.
Cameron: Sure did and all my shirts should be ironed and the seams should appear straight, just like their owner.

Cam has this theory that if he were straight and Julia Roberts were single, they would be dating.

Claire: Alright ladies. Go home, roll up your hair and clap off the lights because this guy, who I just met, is gonna show me a good time.
Mitchell: If he was straight this would be just like high school.

Modern Family Quotes

You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but only I can make her laugh.

Phil

I never liked Spandau Ballet. Our entire marriage, I never once mentioned Spandau Ballet. Am I even pronouncing that right?

Phil