Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Cam: Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cam: You do it all the time and you know what I end up with? Wet Dreams. I heard it as soon as I said it; just leave it alone.

Kevin is biting his nails again and Rueben hasn't had a bowel movement in a week. Don't laugh. That's how Elvis died.

Manny

Tell Bob Fussy he's overdoing it and you want to go back to the old stuff.

Mitchell: When I was 12-years-old my father walked into my bedroom and caught me doing the most embarrassing thing that a boy can do: dancing to Madonna's 'Lucky Star.'

Mitchell: Who signed an agreement for a sixteen year health club membership?
Cameron: You have to spend money to save money.

What did Oprah do now

I was wrong, every kid wants a clown for a dad.

Mitchell: I guess you don't respect party themes.
Cam: You did NOT just say that.

You're so gay you can't even think of real girls names.

This could be my 'going bald' scare all over again.

I once saw a picture of myself at a friend's poetry slam, and all you could see were the whites of my eyes.

Cam: She's already prone to flashbacks, if you know what I mean.
Mitchell: You know she didn't fight in Vietnam, right?

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 164 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

I get that Thanksgiving is an big day for families that don't see each other, but we're together nonstop.

Jay