Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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You can't get fired from a favor!

I haven't been judged by this many people since I forgot my canvas bags at Whole Foods.

Cam: Do you have a better idea, you're the one who lost it!
Mitchell: No, you tossed it. You tossed it, lost it.

Knock it off old man!

Mitchell: I know how important winning is to Claire.
Cam: And I love to festoon things.

Mitchell: Oh my God, there's Sandy.
Cam: Sandra Bullock?
Mitchell: Yeah we're such good friends, I just call her Sandy.

A month after the most devastating twister to ever hit Cam's hometown, I throw a party based on gay cinema's most famous tornado.

Okay birthday boy, what's it gonna be, rom-com or horror? Or we could do both and watch Maid in Manhattan.

Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.

And what are we supposed to tell the baby? Say hi to your Aunt Mommy!

Cam: It's kind of like a first date.
Mitchell: Actually it's the opposite of the first date. You don't want to have sex, but you do want a baby.

Claire is like the son my dad always wanted. He just wanted someone to throw a ball in the backyard, I did once but he did not attend.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 164 in total

Modern Family Quotes

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

Unless you can convince Tom Brady to spend the night, I am not making breakfast for any football players…He is a football player right?

Mitchell
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