Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC

Cameron: Wham Bam thank you Cam.
Mitchell: Seriously you got her number.
Cameron: Sure did and all my shirts should be ironed and the seams should appear straight, just like their owner.

Cam has this theory that if he were straight and Julia Roberts were single, they would be dating.

Claire: Alright ladies. Go home, roll up your hair and clap off the lights because this guy, who I just met, is gonna show me a good time.
Mitchell: If he was straight this would be just like high school.

I don't know about you but I've got about five minutes of fabulous left.

Fine I'll see you in jail! It's gonna be a big adjustment for two of you.

For the record, I am not a neat freak. In fact in my first long term relationship I was the messy one, which is why she broke up with me...well...

Let's face it a well fed Cam is hardly a model of emotional stability; now deprive him of food and stage by stage it's a slow descent into madness.

You know I'm gonna check the lease, but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab.

Mitchell: The attic? Why?
Luke: At least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.

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