Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Joey Ramone: I'd just like to say this gig sucks.
Johnny Ramone: Hey, up yours Springfield. One, two, three, four!
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday Burnsy.
The Ramones: Happy birthday to you!
C.J. Ramone: Go to Hell you old bastard.
Marky Ramone: Hey, I think they liked us!
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those aren't--
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!

Smithers: Sir, I've arranged for the people of Australia to join hands tonight and spell out your name with candles. There's a satellite hookup on that monitor if you turn your head slightly.
Mr. Burns: Bah, no time.

Smithers: Who's...Bobo, sir?
Mr. Burns: Bobo? Duh..uh, I meant Lobo...Sherrif Lobo, they should have never canceled that show.

(Young Mr. Burns is taken away forever.)
Mr. Burns' Father: Oh well...at least we still have his little brother George.
George Burns: Buh buh buh buh, oh the sun shines so bright on my old Kentucky home buh buh buh bum--Trust me, it'll be funny when I'm an old man.

Smithers: On another topic, the preparations for your birthday have begun.
Mr. Burns: I won't get what I really want.
Smithers: No one does.
(He imagines Mr. Burns appearing half-naked out of a cake and singing happy birthday to him.)

(In 1,000,000 A.D. Mr. Burns, his body that of a robot, comes across Bobo)
Mr. Burns: Bobo, I know I say this every century, but I'll never leave you behind again.
(He runs off with Bobo, followed by Smithers, whose body is that of a robot dog)
Smithers: Wait for me, sir! Ruff!

Mr. Burns: Smithers, I'm so happy. Something amazing has happened, I'm actually happy. Take a note! From now on, I'm only going to be good and kind to everyone.
Smithers: I'm sorry sir, I don't have a pencil.
Mr. Burns: Oh, don't worry, I'm sure I'll remember it.

Smithers: You want your bear Bobo, don't you?
Mr. Burns: Liar! I'll give you the thrashing of a lifetime...nggg...nyeeh. Resistance is futile!

Homer: Are you ready to laugh? I said, are you ready to laugh!?
Lady: Quiet you awful man.
Homer: You know, Mr. Burns is so cheap.
Mr. Burns: Whaaat?
Homer: I mean...Mr. Burns is so old--
Mr. Burns: How dare you!

Mr. Burns: Ah, yes. Naturally, I can't pay you much of a reward because I'm strapped for cash.
(The ceiling above gives way; money and jewels pour down on him.)
Mr. Burns: As you can see, this old place is falling apart. But I'm sure we can come to an understanding.

Mr. Burns: Hello, Simpson. My lawyers and I were in the neighborhood and thought we'd stop by.
Marge: Would you like to come in for tea and marshmallow squares?
(The lawyers confer with each other)
Lawyer: Yes, he would.

Mr. Burns: What, how dare you disturb us during nap time!
Lady: We're from the Nuclear Regulatory Comission. This is a surprise test of worker competence.
Mr. Burns: There must be some mistake. Weee... make cookies here. Mr. Burns old fashion good time, extra chewy..
Man: Get the axe!

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 173 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

x Close Ad