Oscar Martinez Quotes
Michael: We'll ask Powerpoint.
Oscar: Michael, this is a presentation tool.
Michael: You're a presentation tool!
- Permalink: We'll ask Powerpoint. Michael, this is a presentation tool. ...
Stanley: You find anything?
Kevin: We think it's a straight forward kidnapping.
Oscar: Stanley, could you look up "accomplices"?
Stanley: Why can't you guys do it?
Oscar: Because we're looking up jail time.
- Permalink: You find anything? We think it's a straight forward kidnapping...
Michael: Did anyone do anything involving an Indian burial ground?
Oscar: Like what?
Michael: Like park on it. Or dig up a body... Toby? Anything you want to tell us?
Toby: No, I did not violate an Indian burial ground. In fact I had some good luck recently, Alfredo's Pizza, picked my business card out of the basket, so... uh, I got a week of free pies.
Pam: That's cool.
Michael: Perfect. So our tragedy is your good luck. Satan.
- Permalink: Did anyone do anything involving an Indian burial ground? Like...
Michael: Ok, I have an announcement.
Oscar: You pushed Darryl out the window?
Phyllis: You shot Dwight?
Michael: No! That is not funny, I love my employees, even thought I hit one of you with my car. For which I take full responsibility. Look I'm just trying to take everybody's mind off of this unavoidable tragedy, and onto more positive things. So I thought we should plant a tree.
Jim: Oh good, so we don't have to work.
- Permalink: Ok, I have an announcement. You pushed Darryl out the window? ...
Kevin: Are you kidding me, Pam and Jim are totally hooking up. All they do is smile; they're just keeping it a secret. Right?
Oscar: I don't know, there is no evidence of intimacy. They've been in remarkably good moods. It could be other things.
Kevin: Are you kidding me?
- Permalink: Are you kidding me, Pam and Jim are totally hooking up. All they...
Michael: There they are, the Accounting Department. I shall miss your humility and your promptly printed checks.
Kevin: Do you think it's gonna to be weird working with Jan in New York?
Michael: No. Not at all. I haven't talked to Jan since we broke up, and I think if she had something to say she would have called me.
Oscar: Maybe you should talk to her? Before...
Michael: No, no, no. You know what? It's a done deal. I basically have the job already. There's nothing she can do to stop it now. I already sold my condo.
- Permalink: There they are, the Accounting Department. I shall miss your hum...
Oscar: Hey, Pam I've been meaning to say something to you. I really miss our friendship.
Pam: Wow, very funny.
Stanley: I've never heard you talk that much. I thought it was Kelly.
Kelly: Are you kidding? I would have never done that. It was pathetic-ville. No offense, Pam.
Meredith: You know what? Don't even worry about it. Everyone was so drunk, I bet no one even remembers what you said.
Creed: I remember. I blogged the whole thing.
- Permalink: Hey, Pam I've been meaning to say something to you. I really mis...
Kelly: Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is because you're not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers! So give yourselves a round of applause.
Oscar: I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer calls.
Kelly: I know, right? Probably a lot.
- Permalink: Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is beca...
Michael: We have a lot of angry customers out there. This puts us at threat level midnight. Accounting, you are on customer service duty today.
Oscar: That's really not our job.
Michael: Midnight, Oscar! Don't worry, Kelly will be training you first.
Angela: Kelly's training us?
- Permalink: We have a lot of angry customers out there. This puts us at thre...
Oscar: You're the one who said we needed more culture.
Gil: This is culture to you?
Oscar: It's her first try.
Gil: Yeah, on Van Gogh's first try, he drew the hands of the peasants.
Oscar: Meaning what?
Gil: Meaning, real art takes courage, okay? And honesty.
Oscar: Well, those aren't Pam's strong points.
Gil: Yeah, exactly. That's why this is... motel art.
- Permalink: You're the one who said we needed more culture. This is cultur...
Oscar: I really have no preference. We don't even have to have a party.
Michael: No, hey, hey. Don't be ridiculous. Of course we are going to have a party. A celebration of Oscar. Oscar night. And I want it to be Oscar-specific.
Oscar: Michael --
Michael: No, no, no. I mean, not because you're gay. Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you to me. And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyllis... I want you to go find firecrackers. And a Chihuahua. Pam, in the frozen food section, Swanson makes a delightful chimichanga.
Oscar: Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey into the office like Pepe.
Michael: Ah, a burro, of course. If Oscar wants a donkey, let's get him one.
- Permalink: I really have no preference. We don't even have to have a party....
Angela: Oscar? I have a question. Would you like to join the party planning committee?
Oscar: The one of all women?
Oscar: Because I'm gay?
Angela: No. No. Certain events have transpired. And I've thought about certain things. And I'm sorry for the way those certain events transpired.
- Permalink: Oscar? I have a question. Would you like to join the party plann...
Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.Michael
- Permalink: Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sin...
I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.Andy
- Permalink: I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days befor...