The Office

Oscar Martinez Quotes (Page 10)

Michael: It is a classic management tactic. You have two sides, a deadline, you know that neither of them are gonna concede. What you do is you put 'em in a room, and you just- Hey.
Pam: Hey.
Oscar: Hey, we're going with the chairs.
Michael: What?
Oscar: I just figured I'd rather have new chairs than nothing at all.
Pam: Thanks Michael.
Michael: Good work. I'm proud of you. [they leave] Mother-
 • Rating: Unrated

Meredith: Jim, good for you, standing up to Pam like that.
Creed: The balls on you, man.
Oscar: So Michael, what do you think?
Michael: Why me?
Jim: You have to make the decision.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: Alright, well this is the overall budget for this fiscal year along the x-axis...
Michael: Yes.
Oscar: Right there.
Michael: There's the x-ax...icks.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Why don't you explain this to me like I'm five.
Oscar: Your mommy and daddy give you 10 dollars to open up a lemonade stand. So you go out and you buy cups and you buy lemons and you buy sugar. And now you find out that it only costs you nine dollars.
Michael: Ho-oh!
Oscar: So you have an extra dollar.
Michael: Yeah.
Oscar: So you can give that dollar back to mommy and daddy, but guess what? Next summer...
Michael: I'll be six.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: That is just obnoxious.
Oscar: No kidding.
Pam: Yeah! Wait, what, the mess or the note?
Oscar: The note. So holier than thou.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Oh man, she is so pissed.
Oscar: Mmm.
Andy: She's taking us back to first base.
Oscar: What is first base with Angela?
Andy: I get to kiss her forehead... I had a good time hanging out this weekend.
Oscar: I had a good time too.
Andy: Wingman for life. WMFL.
Oscar: Thank you.
Andy: You up for a chest bump?
Oscar: No.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: Hey, um... thanks for trying to hook me up.
Andy: You kidding me? It's what I do. Get the whole nine 'nards.
Oscar: I can't believe we called her up.
Andy: Totally! What. Who?
Oscar: Angela. I can't believe we called her up last night.
Andy: We called Angela?
Oscar: You... you called... you called her.
Andy: That was real?! I thought I dreamed that. Oh, God!
Oscar: Alright.
Andy: Oh, God!
 • Rating: Unrated

Angela: [on phone] Hello? Hello?
Andy: What is wrong with you?
Oscar: Why won't you do Andy?
Angela: What?
Andy: That was Oscar and he wants to know why you won't do me and I think it's a valid question.
Angela: Are you drunk?
Andy: This is Andy Bernard!
Angela: I know who this is!
Andy: I wanna take you to sex school.
Angela: What?
Dwight: [on phone] Who is that, Monkey?
Andy: Is somebody there?
Angela: Are you drunk?
Andy: I have needs.
Angela: We will discuss this later.
Andy: Naked.
Angela: What?
Andy: We'll discuss it later naked. I want to see you naked.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Oscar: What do you see in her? What do you see in Angela?
Andy: What do I see in Angela?
Oscar: I want to know.
Andy: I see through a hard exterior to a little jelly in the middle. She is teaching me to be a better person. And she's working really hard on that. And she has the softest skin I've ever seen and I can't wait to have sex with her.
Oscar: You haven't had sex?
Andy: No.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: You'll thank me when they spank thee.
Oscar: Don't do this...
Andy: Do you guys like apples?
Guy at table: What?
Andy: Do you like apples?
Guy at table: Uh, sorry... what?
Andy: [gives them drinks] Well, how do you like these apples? Alright, on a scale of 1-10, how hot is that dude?
Guy at table: Is he your boyfriend or something?
Andy: No, but he could be yours if you play your cards right.
Guy: Dude, leave us alone.
 • Rating: Unrated

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